Apples to apples

One more for you today because Dexter is taking a long-ass time to buffer. Also I'm feeling magnanimous and because I'll be gone in Barcelona this coming weekend so there will be no blogging.

I give you: apple salad.

This is one of my favorite breakfasts to make because it not only keeps me full for a long time it's also easy. You can also eat it for a quick snack to tide you over until your next meal and not feel badly about blowing calories on something from a vending machine.

This is always more fun if you have good stuff to put in it like pecans and hazelnuts and stuff like that but the bare bones (apples and yogurt) are good by themselves too.

I always use fat-free Greek yogurt in it because it has more protein in it and fewer calories than most other yogurts. And for god's sake, if you haven't heard this already stop eating "light" flavored yogurt because it's just packed with refined sugars and isn't really worth the calories. You're better off taking plain yogurt or plain Greek yogurt and putting a teaspoon of your favorite jam into it. And yes, just one teaspoon.

Anyway, back to apple salad. I like to spice mine up (ha ha) with a little cinnamon, nutmeg and ground ginger but you can do what you'd like. If plain yogurt isn't sweet enough for you, add a small drizzle of honey, although the sugar in the apple should be more than enough.

When I made this the last time, I added sultana raisins, hazelnuts and walnuts to the mix and it was delicious. Tommy ended up eating a lot more of it than I bargained for but oh well. It's so easy you can make it again in 5 minutes.

Ingredients:
1 half apple, cubed
5 oz. plain non-fat Greek yogurt (just one of those little cups)
1 tbs. raisins
2 tbs. chopped nuts
Pinch each of cinnamon, ground ginger, nutmeg

1. Mix all ingredients together in a small bowl and stir to incorporate the spices. Chow down, guilt free.

Sunday Fronday

Sunday is unquestionably the second-worst day of the week. First prize obviously goes to that bastard Monday but Sunday might actually be worse in that you know you have the day off but you still have to go back to real life in just a few short hours.

That's why I advocate for comfort food all day on Sunday, from pancakes in the morning to a soul-satisfying entree for dinner at night.

I also like soul-satisfying entrees that don't involve a metric shit-ton of work, like the whole chicken I tangoed with last night. But that's another story.

Hello, gorgeous.

So what is this magical Sunday Fronday? Three words for you, babe:

French.

Onion.

Soup.

Also known as Fronion soup when I'm too lazy to type all that out.

A rich beef broth smothered in toasted baguette and oozy, melted Gruyere and parmesean makes my heart beat just a little quicker.

I was having a terrible craving for restaurant-style fronion soup and so I looked up a recipe and was pleased to see that not only is it pretty low-maintenance, it also has fewer ingredients than I thought it would. The recipe I used called for the addition of vermouth or dry white wine and I really liked what it did for the soup base. I didn't have dry thyme or a bay leaf so I just used my herbs du Provence mixture. If you have mixed Italian seasoning this can also be a substitute. I also used a hunk of beef and bone that Tommy had cooked the other night which made the flavor much richer. Plus while the soup simmered, the beef fell of the bone and mingled with the onions and...well, damn.

There are two things I'll say here before we get started. The first is that if you really want amazing Fronion soup you have to shell out for the good beef stock, not the off-brand one that's only a buck fifty. If you're fancy you can make your own but I think it takes a long time and I have no idea how to do it so you're on your own there. The second is that you should add more stock and wine than you think you'll need because the baguette will soak up a lot of it and then you'll be left with more mush than anything else.

With those two provisos in mind, let's make some Fronion soup.

Ingredients:
6 large yellow onions, peeled and chopped
3-4 tbs. olive oil
1/4 tsp. sugar
2 cloves garlic, minced
8-10 cups beef stock
1/2 cup dry vermouth or white wine
1 bay leaf
1/4 tsp. dry thyme
Cracked black pepper
8 slices well-toasted (but not burned) french bread
1 1/2 c. grated Gruyere and parmesean

1. In a large soup pot, saute the onions in the olive oil on medium high heat until well-browned but not burned, about 30-40 minutes. Add the sugar about 10 minutes in to help with the caramelizing.









2. Add the garlic and saute for 1 more minute. Add the stock, wine, bay leaf and thyme (and beef/bone if you have it). Cover partially and simmer until the flavors are well blended, about 30 minutes. Season with pepper and discard the bay leaf.

3. Place the toasts on top of the soup and sprinkle the cheese in an even layer.




















4. Broil in the oven for about 10 minutes at 350 degrees
or until the cheese is melted and bubbly and smelling oh-so-good. Serve immediately.

The big O(reo)

Halloween is and always will be my favorite holiday. I love everything about it: making (never buying) my costume, carving pumpkins, decorating the house, drinking cider and last but certainly not least eating delicious Halloween candy and miscellaneous confections.

Here in Spain, Halloween isn't as big of a deal. People don't really get into it like we do in the States and let me just say here and now that while I love Spain, it will always be lower on my list than any country that truly appreciates the importance and spirit of Halloween.

Anyway, this Halloween night I didn't get dressed up for the first time in memory and it was really tough. The sugar pumpkin (aka eating pumpkin) I acquired from the grocery store was equally so. No really, it was stupid thick. And then it turned out looking sort of like Voldemort so I put a sombrero on it:

I give you...Meximort?

Tommy and I had a quiet night in with one of our friends who had an early flight to Prague in the morning. I made French onion soup (coming soon to a blog near you) and the increasingly-culinary Tommy made Oreo truffles.

And they were unbelievably good.

Hence the title of this post.

They were also ridiculously easy so I highly recommend making them for a potluck (or I mean just to eat) because they take about 15 minutes to actively make and then about 30-40 to chill. Max. Plus you can decorate them with drizzles and sprinkles and stuff which we would have done were it not for a total lack of decorative items in my kitchen.

I would say the hardest part of this recipe is not eating most of the ingredients at various stages during the construction.

They were gone within 12 hours.

Ingredients:

1 16-oz package of Oreos (do not use those shitty fake ones or you will burn in knockoff purgatory)

1 8-oz package of cream cheese

16 oz of bittersweet or white or semi sweet or dark chocolate, melted

1. In a large bowl, crush the Oreos to a medium consistency.

2. Scoop the cream cheese right on top of there and mix well to blend. 

3. Form 1 inch balls from the mixture and place on a baking sheet covered in waxed paper. Meanwhile, melt the chocolate. Once the chocolate is melted, dip the Oreo balls and roll them around to cover completely. You can use a fork to do this or a spoon or tongs, whatever you like.

4. Let chill for about an hour until the chocolate is hardened. Demolish.

Planet of the apricots

Today's blog post brought to you by one very abused blender and the Whole Foods Recipe app. Also a seriously lazy day.

A day when all I want to do is lay in bed and eat Halloween candy and granola bars.

Except the granola bars here in Spain are actually pretty terrible.

So Tommy and I decided to be happy hippies and make our own using the ancient blender at his apartment which got very very warm during the course of its use.

Whoops.

We found this recipe for hemp seed apricot chews on the Whole Foods app and immediately said something along the lines of, "ew effing gross" and "what in the name of Nestle is a hemp seed and why would one eat such a thing."

Then we decided to change the recipe to fit our own purposes (aka not so disgustingly healthy and crunchy) and we came out with a chewy bar that was totally delicious and a lot less expensive than the crappy granola bars I bought at the store here. It was also full of seasonally appropriate autumnal colors. 

Mission accomplished.

The only annoying thing was we had to blend in batches so we didn't set the blender on fire and if we had the magical contraption that is the food processor this would have been a lot easier. So take it from me: use your food processor if you have one.

We liked these a lot better when they were cold than when they were room temperature because they got kind of awkwardly sticky but that was just us. These are also pretty much pure fiber so don't go crazy when you eat them or you might end up one very unhappy camper in the intestinal region and have no one to blame but yourself.

These keep, wrapped tightly in saran or in an airtight container, for about two weeks in the fridge. We cut them into individual squares after chilling them the first time for convenience purposes. This is also one where you can screw with it as much as you like. Use dried cherries or cranberries instead of apricots or add figs or prunes or whatever other dried fruit you'd like. We would've added pecans if they existed in this country but they just don't.

Ingredients:

3 c. dried apricots, roughly chopped

1 c. chopped pitted dates

1 c. walnuts

2 tbs. lemon juice

1 tsp. ground nutmeg

1/2 tsp. ground ginger

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1. Line an 8x8 pan with parchment paper (or use a disposable metal one like we did) and set aside.

2. In a food processor, pulse all ingredients until a chunky paste forms.

 Transfer to the pan and press with a spatula to create an even thickness.

3. Cover and chill until firm, 1 to 2 hours, and then cut into squares for serving.

Slaw no gettum firewood

So extra points to you, dear reader, if you can name what excessively racist Disney movie the title of this blog post comes from.

Ding ding ding! It's Peter Pan!

I watched this awhile ago with one of my good friends and we were totally taken aback at the obvious racism in that movie. From the "Indians" speaking in Pidgin English and calling Wendy "squaw" to the footprints that denote the name of the tribe, Peter Pan is all kinds of messed up. I actually don't think I can watch Peter Pan again because it was so bizarrely off-color.

Attempting to relive stuff from your childhood can sort of screw with you I think.

Anyway, the real reason for the title of this post is that I couldn't think of anything funny to say about this Asian salad slaw I made.

This is the next in the recent line of stupid easy recipes that require no cooking in deference to our East Coast pals slogging it out with Sandy.

Raise your hand if you'd like the entire cast of Jersey Shore to be swept out to sea never to be seen again.

In any case, this would be a lot easier with a food processor or a large plane grater but you can totally make do with a good chef's knife. That way you can also work on your knife skills like I did and remember just how badly it sucks to julienne foods.

FYI: julienne is when you cut a food into equal matchstick-shaped pieces.

This is one of those where you can definitely FFTFW by adding hot chili flakes, more lime juice, salt, grated ginger, radicchio, whatever you think will taste good given the flavor profile. The only thing I don't recommend changing is the type of vinegar (rice wine) because if you use malt vinegar or apple cider vinegar for example, it might taste weird.

This is an excellent accompaniment to a spicy main dish like curry or blackened fish tacos but you could also just grill steak or chicken and throw it on top of the slaw for an entire meal.

This will keep for two or three days in the fridge before it starts to go weird.

Ingredients:

2 medium carrots, peeled

1 large cucumber, peeled

1/4 head green cabbage 

1/4 c. rice wine vinegar

Juice of 2 limes

1/4 tsp. crushed red chili flakes

1/4 tsp. kosher salt

2 tbs. crushed peanuts

1. Cut the vegetables into equal sized pieces (julienne) or use your food processor to grate BUT NOT BLEND them.

2. In a large bowl, combine all the vegetables and peanuts and mix them together well.

3. In a separate bowl, combine the vinegar, lime juice, chili flakes and salt and whisk to combine.

4. Pour the dressing over the salad and toss to coat. Serve immediately with more crushed peanuts for garnish, if desired.

Scandy Sandy

This one goes out to all those on the East Coast who don't have school today thanks to one Hurricane Sandy, including my school (University of Maryland).

This means that Sunday Funday definitely happened last night and everyone is about to lose power today and continue to drink regardless...at least at my school anyway. We have our priorities in order.

Therefore I bring to you a recipe that involves absolutely no cooking at all and that can be made with the general contents of your pantry. Fraternity brothers, this probably excludes you but let this be a lesson to you in grocery shopping.

Spanish peanut butter < American peanut butter

I introduce to you: Balls of Fury.

Okay actually I hate that name but No Bake Energy Bites sounds really healthy and boring and I couldn't think of a hurricane-related name for these things.

Regardless of your inclement weather, these are delicious and very easy to make and you can adjust their health/junk food factor as you wish. I personally advocate for deliciousness over health in the case of these little snacks but if the junk in your trunk begs to differ feel free to do otherwise.

You can also add delicious things like Craisins or chopped nuts to the mix if you're feeling really fancy and/or have recently been to Trader Joe's. If you add more dry ingredients however, make sure to increase the proportion of the wet ingredients so it all sticks together.

And that's really all I've got. It's a simple recipe. I made them for the bus ride to Valencia and they went quickly. Tommy was super into them but he's not exactly a picky eater so take that as you will.

Oh I guess this is of marginal interest: I tried Valencian paella with rabbit, chicken and "vegetables" and honestly I could live a long time without ever eating it again. Not like it was bad but there was more bone than anything else and the rice and vegetables were really overcooked. I'm certainly glad I tried it though, can't go to Spain and not have paella at least once. Our program director and Tommy's Spanish roommate both said that Alicantian paella is far superior and recommended a restaurant for us to try so we might go round two in the near future.

But without further ado...No Bake Balls of Energetic Fury (?)

Ingredients:

1 c. rolled oats
1/2 c. smooth peanut butter
1/4 c. wheat germ
1/4 c. shredded coconut
1 tbs. honey
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 c. dark chocolate chips
1/4 c. raisins/Craisins/chopped nuts

1. Put all dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Scoop liquid ingredients on top of dry. Mix together well, incorporating all ingredients and leaving no dry patches at the bottom of the bowl.


2. Chill for 30 minutes and then shape into 1-inch diameter balls. Store in a tightly sealed Tupperware for up to 3 days (they dry out otherwise) but I doubt they'll last that long.

I did it for the cookie

In the Georgetown area of DC, there's a fantastic bakery called Baked and Wired which has unbelievable coffee, cupcakes and other delicious pastries. It's far and away the best cupcakery in DC but doesn't come close to touching the cupcakery I work at in Illinois (Turtle's Cupcakes). They're kind of hipster and crunchy-granola guys there but they make some mean snacks and they usually have a funny sign out front. Once, it said "I did it for the nookie" but nookie was crossed out and replaced with cookie which I personally prefer.

Very few things top a well-made cookie, and most collegiate sexual escapades...you can sit. Hence: I did it for the cookie.

I'm going to be in Valencia, Spain this weekend (apparently home of the best paella in Spain) so I will be silent until Sunday but before I go let me leave you with two things.

The first is a bomb recipe for oatmeal cookies with toasted coconut and chocolate chips.

The second is a warning to never attempt to cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy by hand. Because it's really hard and it sucks. Also don't try to use an immersion blender because it might start smoking like ours did.

This is essentially my favorite oatmeal chocolate chip cookie recipe from Better Homes and Gardens plus a little coconut toasted in a saucepan.

That being said, these are ridiculously easy and I know you'll want to drunkenly snack on them this weekend because since Halloween falls on a Wednesday this year that means all you lucky American college students get TWO Halloweekends. Your livers are cowering in terror.

Ingredients:
2 1/4 c. rolled oats
1 1/2 (or 2) c. semi sweet chocolate chips
1 2/3 c. flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. kosher salt
1 c. packed brown sugar
3/4 c. white sugar
1 c. (2 sticks) butter
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 c. unsweetend coconut flakes
1/2 c. chopped walnuts (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 375 F. In a small bowl, mix together the oats, chocolate chips, flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt.
2. In a separate bowl, cream the butter and sugars until light and fluffy and then blend the dry ingredients until just incorporated. Beat in the eggs and vanilla.
3. Gently toast the coconut in a small saucepan over low to medium heat, stirring often with a spatula, until golden brown and fragrant. Fold into the batter along with the nuts if you're using them.
4. Drop by the tablespoon onto a greased baking sheet and bake for about 9-12 minutes or until golden brown around the edges. You want them slightly chewy.