Orange You Glad...

...I'm not going to finish that horrible joke? The temptation was significant, let me tell you.

Sorry for the brief hiatus but Tommy and I decided to go to Switzerland for a long weekend. Yes, I know, I am living the dream. Also they really do know their chocolate and cheese out there.

Were it not for the fact that it is the most absurdly expensive place I've ever been, I would totally move there. Gorgeous scenery, amazing food and the cleanest bathrooms I've ever seen. Everywhere we went. Seriously. As those close to me can tell you, this is very important to me. In other news, after eating gruyere fondue in Gruyere (heh), The Melting Pot is totally ruined for me.

As fun as the weekend was, it was expensive and pretty darn heavy as far as culinary options go. We did manage to eat a ton of ethnic food however which made me incredibly happy. Thai, Indian and Ethiopian (Tommy's first time!) were all happily consumed. Especially the Ethiopian food. Those people know their way around a lentil, let me tell you.

Therefore, Tommy and I have wanted to keep things pretty light since we got home. Lots of fresh fruits and veggies, not quite as much chocolate (but really still kind of a lot...whatever). This is a whacked-out quasi-fruit salad that makes fantastic use of the wealth of citrus fruits we are blessed with out here, plus the overwhelming supply of olives. It sounds like a strange and even unappetizing combination but trust me, the sweet/sour/salty flavors play together in the nicest possible way.

Additionally, you don't have to cut the oranges into supremes (the fancy way to say peeled wedges) but it makes consumption easier and looks really pretty. Here's a good step-by-step tutorial if you're interested.

It's worth it to use good quality olive oil if you have it for this recipe. A bright, grassy flavor will play best with the citrus. If not, good old extra-virgin will do as well.

This is a great side dish and would pair well with most whitefish and maybe couscous. In fact, that sounds pretty damn good for dinner tonight. This also works best if it sits briefly (30 minutes, give or take) to let the flavors really meld. If you have culinarily adventurous friends, this would make an awesome potluck dish: you will look like a super inventive chef and you don't even have to tell them it only took 15 minutes to put together.

Ingredients:
4-5 oranges (mix of navel, blood, etc.), cut into supremes
1/2 c. pitted green olives, roughly chopped
1/2 red onion, chopped
1/4 c. good-quality olive oil
2-3 tbs. fresh chives, finely minced

1. Carefully supreme your oranges, or alternatively, slice them into thin rounds.

2. Combine the oranges, green olives and red onion in a medium sized bowl and drizzle with the olive oil, mixing to combine.


3. Refrigerate for about 30 minutes. Add chives just before serving.

I Googled Lentil Puns

And came up with jack squat for this post. And yes, I know that Googling "lentil puns" for title inspiration is a very low point in my life, blog and non-blog wise.

Buuut...lentils are great. Super healthy, high in protein, extremely cheap and easy to cook. They're pretty much every vegan or vegetarian's wet dream, and they can be yours too! Okay, maybe that's a stretch. Because cheeseburgers and chorizo exist.

The harsh truth is, however, the less meat you eat, the better it is for the environment. Tommy and I have been working pretty hard to go meatless for most of our meals (lunch excluded) and it's been an interesting experiment.

This is a fantastic meatless -- but filling -- meal. This is a slightly belated throwback Thursday because I made it at school (which is why you see my girl Jess Stein photographing my handiwork for a class project) and would happily make it again now were it not for the fact that Tmo refuses to eat mushrooms with the stubbornness of a 3-year old. 

Just because he won't eat it doesn't mean you shouldn't though. Feel free to cheat like I did and buy precooked lentils if you can find them. If not, buy green lentils (the other colors can get a bit mushy if cooked on the stovetop) and follow the instructions below. This recipe is adapted from www.deliciouseveryday.com

Cooking lentils on the stovetop:
1 c. green lentils
2 c. water
1/4 tsp. salt

1. Rinse lentils in a large strainer, carefully picking through to remove any shriveled ones or foreign objects.

2. Combine lentils and water in a large saucepan on the stove. Bring the water to a rapid simmer over medium-high heat, then reduce the heat to maintain a very gentle simmer. You should only see a few small bubbles and some slight movement in the lentils. Cook, uncovered, for 20-30 minutes. Add water as needed to make sure the lentils are just barely covered.

3. Lentils are cooked as soon as they are tender and no longer crunchy. Older lentils may take longer to cook and shed their outer skins as they cook. Strain the lentils and remove any seasonings. Return the lentils to the pan and stir in salt. Taste and add additional salt as needed.


Ingredients:
1 1/2 c. cooked lentils1 c. mixed mushrooms (button and portobello), sliced2. cloves garlic, minced1/4 tsp. crushed red peppers (or more to taste)1/4 tsp. sea salt1 tbs. EVOO1 tbs. lemon juice2 tbs. flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped1/2 to 3/4 c. arugula

1. Cook lentils according to directions above. Once cooked, put into a large bowl and set aside.

2. In a medium-sized saucepan, sautee the mushrooms in the olive oil until lightly golden brown.

Add the garlic and crushed reds and continue to cook until the garlic is fragrant and almost translucent.

3. Toss the lentils, mushrooms, salt and lemon juice together in the large bowl. 

Mix in parsley and arugula just before serving.

Slaw no gettum firewood

So extra points to you, dear reader, if you can name what excessively racist Disney movie the title of this blog post comes from.

Ding ding ding! It's Peter Pan!

I watched this awhile ago with one of my good friends and we were totally taken aback at the obvious racism in that movie. From the "Indians" speaking in Pidgin English and calling Wendy "squaw" to the footprints that denote the name of the tribe, Peter Pan is all kinds of messed up. I actually don't think I can watch Peter Pan again because it was so bizarrely off-color.

Attempting to relive stuff from your childhood can sort of screw with you I think.

Anyway, the real reason for the title of this post is that I couldn't think of anything funny to say about this Asian salad slaw I made.

This is the next in the recent line of stupid easy recipes that require no cooking in deference to our East Coast pals slogging it out with Sandy.

Raise your hand if you'd like the entire cast of Jersey Shore to be swept out to sea never to be seen again.

In any case, this would be a lot easier with a food processor or a large plane grater but you can totally make do with a good chef's knife. That way you can also work on your knife skills like I did and remember just how badly it sucks to julienne foods.

FYI: julienne is when you cut a food into equal matchstick-shaped pieces.

This is one of those where you can definitely FFTFW by adding hot chili flakes, more lime juice, salt, grated ginger, radicchio, whatever you think will taste good given the flavor profile. The only thing I don't recommend changing is the type of vinegar (rice wine) because if you use malt vinegar or apple cider vinegar for example, it might taste weird.

This is an excellent accompaniment to a spicy main dish like curry or blackened fish tacos but you could also just grill steak or chicken and throw it on top of the slaw for an entire meal.

This will keep for two or three days in the fridge before it starts to go weird.

Ingredients:

2 medium carrots, peeled

1 large cucumber, peeled

1/4 head green cabbage 

1/4 c. rice wine vinegar

Juice of 2 limes

1/4 tsp. crushed red chili flakes

1/4 tsp. kosher salt

2 tbs. crushed peanuts

1. Cut the vegetables into equal sized pieces (julienne) or use your food processor to grate BUT NOT BLEND them.

2. In a large bowl, combine all the vegetables and peanuts and mix them together well.

3. In a separate bowl, combine the vinegar, lime juice, chili flakes and salt and whisk to combine.

4. Pour the dressing over the salad and toss to coat. Serve immediately with more crushed peanuts for garnish, if desired.

Chile out

All right kids, it's Blogapalooza this week since I leave for Spain in 10 days and I'm not sure when I'll be able to update next. Don't worry, I won't forget about all 7 of you faithful readers.

Today let's talk about chiles. Hot ones, mild ones, green ones, red ones, dried ones, small girls, tall girls, I'm calling all girls...uh, sorry. Anyway, usually I'm not a huge fan. I hate jalapenos and that happens to be the most common in the chile family. Luckily, I stumbled across a recipe for a savory fruit salad that involves new and incredible types of chiles--ones that offer heat and smokiness and are, shockingly, fantastic when combined with watermelon and feta.

Now don't roll your eyes at me; I know everyone and their brother has had some crappy version of a feta and watermelon salad at a picnic or potluck where the watermelon is flavorless and the feta is overly salty and everything just tastes like too much cilantro. Make me puke. This salad is a highly updated version with all the right elements of salty, sweet, spicy and crunchy. I could eat this salad until I had a mad watermelon-feta bloat and no one wanted to look at me anymore.

The key to this salad is to use high-quality ingredients. Don't use crappy feta or the salt will overpower the dish. Same goes for the fleur de sel that you sprinkle on top: a light hand is key here. Bright and grassy olive oil works miracles when drizzled on top; if you only have EVOO just skip it. Not sure what to buy? Ask around in a higher-end grocery store. And don't skimp on the pepitas (roasted pumpkin seeds)! Their crunch is unbelievably satisfying.

As an added bonus, this salad is really freakin pretty. Instagram that shit before it's all gone.

This salad will keep in the fridge tightly covered for about 3 days.

Ingredients:
4-pound piece seedless watermelon
5 ounces (1 cup) feta cheese, crumbled
1/2 cup loosely packed parsley leaves
1/3 cup loosely packed mint leaves
1 fresh hot chile, like scotch bonnet, seeded and thinly sliced
Aleppo pepper (can substitute fresh cracked black pepper or chopped red pepper flakes)
Fleur de sel
1/3 cup roasted pepitas (pumpkin seeds)
1/4 cup very good extra-virgin olive oil plus more for drizzling
1 lime



1.Cut and discard the rind from the watermelon, then cut the fruit into small pieces about 1/4 inch wide.
2. In a large shallow serving bowl, layer half of the watermelon, sprinkle over half the feta, and scatter half the cilantro, mint and fresh chile. Season with a generous sprinkle of pepper and crush several generous pinches of salt over the top. Sprinkle with half the pepitas, drizzle with half of the oil, then squeeze half of the lime juice over the top.

3. Repeat with the remaining ingredients. Drizzle with a little extra oil, if desired.

This recipe is from the slightly snobbish cookbook "Salads: Beyond the Bowl" by Mindy Fox ($19.95)