Braise the roof

Tonight I'm doing a little bit of a throwback post...okay, a lot a bit of a throwback post. Like a I-cooked-this-while-in-Spain throwback post. It was on my To-Blog list and then I sort of kind of forgot about it which is uncool and unfair because this is a seriously delicious recipe.

I do have some good, far more recent, recipes in the works for this week and next (because during Passover you have to get crafty with the veggies or you get something else entirely instead) but they are still a twinkle in my eye. And everything else I have to blog is not k for P and I don't feel like torturing myself or my Jewish readers with pictures of fluffy lemon-berry scones or cheesecake cookies.

Okay, enough hedging. Let's talk some braised short ribs. Better yet, let's talk about some BEER braised short ribs. Yeah beer! And no, I don't mean Natty Light or Natty Boh. But, embarrassingly, those are the only two beers I'll drink. Maryland pride! We are all drunkards! My GPA is a mirage! Only kidding future employers, it's a solid 3.6 I'm pretty sure.

The awesome thing about braising, which means lightly frying something and then stewing it low and slow in a closed container, is that it turns even tough and sad pieces of meat into fall-off-the-bone, so-good-you'll-slap-your-momma pieces of meat.

Short ribs are no exception, and they are relatively inexpensive. This recipe takes a little bit of time so you'll want to start in the early afternoon so you're not eating at midnight like my boyfriend's roommate frequently does (Hi Lenhart!). It's perfect for days you can eat meat if you're Catholic (although Lent is almost over) or a weekend if you're just busy. It makes a ton of food by the way, and even though it's served on pasta in these pictures you can easily put it on polenta or grits. I don't think either of those are kosher for Passover but I'm sure Manischewitz makes some sort of alternative.

This is a Food and Wine recipe which I have changed very marginally so obviously you can't go wrong. This is an excellent man meal also, so if you're trying to impress a dude this is totally the way. Plus it will stick to your ribs since it's so unseasonably cold out for no reason since it's FUCKING APRIL.

Sorry. I promised myself I would stop using the f-word on my blog so that I could find a job one day but since there was snow on my windshield last night I reserve the right to drop the bomb once.

Ingredients:
2 tablespoons canola oil
6 boneless short ribs (10 to 12 ounces each)
Kosher salt
Freshly ground pepper
1 onion, thinly sliced
1 large carrot, thinly sliced
3 cups beef stock or low-sodium broth
2 cups chocolate stout or other dark beer

1. Preheat the oven to 325°. In a large enameled cast-iron casserole, heat the oil until shimmering. Season the short ribs with salt and pepper and add 3 of them to the casserole.

I don't know why this is in black and white, blame Google Blogger.

Cook over moderate heat, turning, until well browned all over, about 10 minutes. Transfer to a plate and repeat with the remaining ribs.

2. Pour off all but 2 tablespoons of the fat from the casserole. Add the onion and carrot and cook over moderate heat, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are softened, about 8 minutes. 
Add the beef stock and beer and bring to a boil. Return the ribs to the casserole, cover and braise in the oven for about 2 hours, until the meat is very tender.

3. Transfer the ribs to a platter and cover with foil, leaving some space. Using a big spoon or a ladle, skim off the fat from the sauce as best you can. Boil until reduced to 3 cups, about 8 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Return the short ribs to the sauce and simmer over low heat until they are warmed through. Serve the ribs with the grits, pasta or whatever you want.

Spike this

In honor of the Bears now being 5 and 1 and Skip Bayless tweeting that barring injury our Superbowl chances just keep getting better and better, I write today about spiked and spicy cider.

Also because in the poll I posted, 7 out of 8 people voted to see an alcoholic beverage make its way onto Bite Me. My readers are all seemingly booze-soaked college students, and I'm okay with that.

This cider reminds me of two things, the first of which is the deliciously nonalcoholic cider my mom makes in the fall and the horrifically alcoholic cider a fraternity at my school makes for an enormous tailgate they have every year.

Mine is a happy marriage of the two with the holy water that is bourbon. It's also stupid easy to make (just one step!) but looks and smells very impressive so I highly recommend it for large parties. It will almost certainly make an appearance at my highly exclusive and invitation only gingerbread house party that I host every winter break. Be jealous.

Anyway, I made this for a friend's birthday party last weekend and it went over a storm but BE WARNED: this shit is Special Olympics in a festive mug. You think it's not that strong because you get distracted by the cinnamony goodness and orange slices floating in your face and then 45 minutes later you're having an in-depth conversation with someone about why you named your first cat after a German composer and why the  Evil Queen in Snow White was so evil.

Without further ado...spiked and spicy cider.

Ingredients:
1 bottle of apple juice (preferably without added sugars and not from concentrate)
1/2 orange, sliced
2 cinnamon sticks
4 or 5 whole cloves
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1 c. bourbon (I like Knob Creek but it's up to you. Feel free to add more or less to taste.)

1. Combine all ingredients in a large pot on the stove top and stir to combine. Let simmer over low heat for about 20 or 30 minutes until fragrant and serve.