Spice Up Your Life

As many of my friends know, I love a good latte.

Pumpkin spice, vanilla, plain old skim milk. My go-to Starbucks order in the winter is, 9 times out of 10, a grande skim latte with an extra shot of espresso. I have tried many of the seasonal varieties as well, with varying results. I found the eggnog latte to be palatable, but overly sweet towards the bottom. The gingerbread latte tasted like a plate of burned Christmas cookies. The toffee nut latte was absurdly delicious but definitely not worth all those calories.

Back in Alicante, I experimented with making my own pumpkin spice lattes with incredible results. I recently bought too much pumpkin for the filling of my Friendsgiving 2.0 (coming soon, I promise!) pie and decided to reserve some for later pumpkin spice lattes.

However when I slit open the vacuum-sealed package today, I was greeted with an unpleasant smell and some very squishy pumpkin. Ever the optimist, I rinsed the pumpkin and steamed it briefly in the hopes that it would perk up. It didn't. It tasted like an acidic dishrag.

Into the trash it went.

But I really, really wanted a pretty latte to perk up my afternoon. Unfortunately they don't have things like molasses or flavor extracts here so both homemade gingerbread and almond toffee were out. What I did have was a cabinet of spices at my disposal and some very good quality coffee, so I decided to experiment.

What I came up with was delicious: a combination of warming, wintery spices and strong-verging-on-espresso coffee topped with fluffy mountains of whipped cream.

Take that, pumpkin spice. You've got competition.

I know it seems like there's almost too much seasoning in the milk but remember that the coffee is very strong and you don't want the flavors of the spices to be masked. Of course if you like your coffee weaker, add less spice.

But if you like weak coffee then I don't know if I want to be friends with you. Dunkin' Donuts drinkers, I'm looking at you. That shit is vile.

Now without further ado, I give you....winter-spiced lattes.

PS: aside from coffee-brewing time, these take about 5 minutes to put together. That's less time than you would have to wait at your local coffee joint. And you don't have to change out of your pajamas.

Ingredients
2 c. milk
1 1/2 c. strong, freshly brewed coffee
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
2 tbs. vanilla extract
Whipped cream and another pinch of cinnamon to finish, if desired (you're a monster if you don't want whipped cream on this latte, just saying)

1. In a medium saucepan, combine milk and vanilla extract. Whisk well to combine.

2. Add spices and scald milk (heat until it's too hot to comfortably dip a finger in).

3. Combine coffee and milk mixture in two mugs. Top with whipped cream and extra cinnamon.

The Doctor is In

Hello all you miserable people.

Are you clutching your stomachs in pain?

Breaking wind like New York cabdrivers: shamelessly and with abandon?

How's your digestive system doing today?

Are you still laboring under the delusion that you could digest that third plate of turkey and mashed potatoes with half a cup of gravy?

Or are you appreciating the cool tile of the bathroom floor as it ingrains itself permanently into your cheek?

Do your jaws ache from chewing?

Does your heart ache from that hideous Bears loss to the Lions (or is that just me)?

Does the thought of having to eat leftovers today cause a not-altogether-enjoyable tingle to run up your spine?

Has anyone noticed my not-so-subtle tribute to Pete Wells' legendary dismantling of Guy Fieri's abortion of a restaurant in New York City?

Would you like to know where I'm going with this?

To offset Thursday's gluttony and then Friday's leftovers orgy, I present to you a quick and simple detox soup with carrots and ginger, a natural digestive aid.

It's inexpensive, incredibly healthy and doesn't require a $400 juicer or an idiotic cleanse.

By the way--juicing is not good for you. Juicing takes all the fiber and most of the nutrients out of whatever you are eating. If you want to lose weight, eat more vegetables and protein and fewer refined carbohydrates. There is no miracle cure for weight loss, and your body naturally rids itself of ingested toxins with the help of your liver (REMEMBER THAT VITAL ORGAN?). So stop throwing money away on overpriced "superjuices" when you could eat a salad (no croutons, no cheese, homemade vinaigrette) and go for a 30-minute walk with better results. Okay, rant over.

Anyway, Doctor Suss says eat a nice bowl of this bright and spicy carrot-ginger detox soup, go for a light workout, get a solid 8 hours of sleep tonight and call me in the morning.

This recipe was lightly adapted from POPSugar Fitness and makes about 6 larger servings.

NOTE: Tommy wasn't a huge fan of the thyme in the yogurt topping and said he would leave it out. I personally didn't mind it but the flavor combination was certainly interesting. Your call.

Ingredients
2 tbs. EVOO
1 c. chopped white onion
2 tbs. minced garlic
4 tbs. minced peeled ginger (or to taste--I like mine spicy)
2 lbs. carrots, peeled and chopped into coins
1 medium russet potato, peeled and chopped
6 c. low-sodium chicken or vegetable stock
1 1/3 c. plain low-fat Greek yogurt
1 tsp. honey
1/4 c. pine nuts, toasted
1 tsp. finely minced thyme
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

1. Heat EVOO over medium-high heat in a heavy pot or Dutch oven and add the onion. Sprinkle with freshly ground black pepper and 1/2 tsp. of salt and cook, stirring constantly, for about 10 minutes or until the onion just starts to brown and caramelize.

2. Reduce the heat to medium-low. Add the garlic and ginger and cook for 2 more minutes, stirring constantly. Do not burn the garlic! Add the chicken stock, carrots and potatoes. Bring to a simmer and cover. Cook until the carrots and potatoes are very tender, about 20 to 25 minutes.






3. While the soup is simmering, combine the greek yogurt, thyme and honey. Whisk to combine and set aside.



4. When the soup has finished simmering, CAREFULLY puree with an immersion blender or in small batches in a regular blender until very smooth.

5. Serve with a dollop of the greek yogurt and a sprinkle of toasted pine nuts.

Pump(kin) YOU Up

This is a recipe for oatmeal pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. Because pumpkin is great. And it goes incredibly well with toasty oats and dark chocolate chips.

Yes, pumpkin recipes for October. Groundbreaking.

The title of this post is a quiet nod to the side-splitting Hans and Franz skit in season 14 of Saturday Night Live: Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon as bodybuilders who just want to pump...you up! I highly recommend you watch it because it is one of my top-10 favorite SNL skits after everything that Tina or Amy has ever been in.

By the way, if you are one of those people who likes to detract from the joy of others by calling them basic, then stop reading and leave my blog and don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I wrote a somewhat lengthy Facebook rant on this subject that I will summarize here in case you missed it: any and all pumpkin-related foods and activities are fantastic. Fall is an A+ season. Do not feel like you can't enjoy these things and many more because some bitter group of people decided that the only way to live is out of the mainstream and those who do enjoy popular culture (in the broadest sense of the word) are somehow less-than. These people suck. Do you.

But back to baking...these are pretty much heaven and hell wrapped into one, deliciously buttery cookie. They are bad for you. But they are very good to eat. Plus, this recipe makes about three dozen cookies so you will have a lot to share with your friends. Or not.

I love Spain very much, but I really wish they would jump on the canned pumpkin bandwagon. Steaming and mashing your own pumpkin is a giant pain in the ass. On the plus side, they have totally embraced the chocolate-for-breakfast idea.

Feel free to add to this recipe: white chocolate chips, dried cranberries, toasted pecans. It's extremely versatile and since pumpkin is a pretty quiet flavor it goes with most things. I baked these when I was at home and now Tommy is sitting here grumbling because he wants me to make them again so he can eat them all and not share. Fat chance. I will call in sick to work one day and bake/hide them while he is gone so only the scent of buttery, cinnamony pumpkin remains. I'm so nice.

Ingredients:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup light brown sugar, packed
1 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup pumpkin puree
1 1/2  cups old-fashioned oats
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Liberally spray several baking sheets (or use parchment paper or Silpats). In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, pumpkin pie spice and salt.















2. At medium speed, cream together the butter and sugar until lighter in color and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla, beating well after each addition. Add pumpkin puree and mix until combined.















3. Reduce the mixer speed to low and add the dry ingredients in three batches. Fold in oats and chocolate chips until just combined.

4. Drop by rounded teaspoonful onto the prepared baking sheets, about 2-3 inches apart. Bake for 10-12 minutes, rotating the pans halfway through.