Chip off the old block

I bet you didn't know that if you have really gross cured chorizo you can slather it with a myriad of spices and bake it until it's crispy, and, once dunked in French's mustard, you will have a mostly edible chorizo chip.

This probably works even better with sausage you wanted to eat in the first place.

But we had a plethora of sausage we just didn't want to eat. And it didn't taste any better sauteed with some eggs and peppers.

It didn't even taste good with hot sauce.

So we got desperate.

...Desperately crafty that is.

We also made use of the end of the thyme fried almonds by stealing the loose thyme and salt from the bottom of the tupperware.

Basically we just sliced this crappy chorizo really thinly and smeared it with more spices and then baked it and suddenly we had a whole new dish on our hands.

Oddly, some of the cured chorizo in Alicante smells awfully like Tommy's Sperrys he's had since freshman year of college. And that is not a pretty scent.

So anyway, like I said, if you actually liked the chorizo (or sausage or salami or other hard cured deli meat) you had to begin with, you can probably skip the seasoning step and skip straight to the baking/chowing down step.

If your chorizo is bootlike or not flavorful enough, feel free to do as we did and you will likely be pleased with the results.

Make sure to slice the chorizo really thinly (if it's not already machine sliced) because the crispiness is the good part.

Ingredients:
10-15 thin slices of chorizo, salami, etc.
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp. powdered garlic
Pinch of dried thyme
Pinch of salt

Mustard for serving.

1. On a large baking sheet, arrange the sliced chorizo and sprinkle with the various spices.

Bake for about 8-10 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit or until crisp. Serve immediately with mustard.

There will be bacon

In honor of the impending bacon shortage (aka the apocalypse) and to keep a promise to blog about something even easier to cook than meatloaf, today we'll be talking about spaghetti alla carbonara, a classic Italian dish made by miner's wives that is cheap, easily made, and packed with protein.

There are two important things to understand about carbonara. The first is that less is more: don't feel the need to put in 7 slices of bacon because you'll lose all the fantastic subtlety that comes as a result of all the ingredients coming together. The second is that you can technically make carbonara with nothing more than parmesean cheese, bacon, eggs and pasta and get the general overview but putting other stuff in it makes it taste a lot better.

Regarding the baconpocalypse, you can blame the Brits and the American Midwest for shrinking herd sizes and a desire to cut production costs, respectively. So that said, eat all the bacon you can lay your hands on.

Oh also you can make carbonara with pancetta for a different, subtler flavor if the mood strikes you. I used parmesean reggiano instead of plain parmesean for a little bit of added bite but also because plain parmesean cheese doesn't seem to exist in Alicante. Criminal.

Ingredients:

1/4 lb of spaghetti (two servings from the box)

2 eggs

1/3 c. finely grated parmesean cheese

2 slices bacon

1/4 onion, finely chopped

1 clove garlic, minced

2 tbs. dry white wine (optional)

1 pinch coarsely ground black pepper

1 tsp. fresh parsley, minced

Respect that Oscar Meyer.

1. In a small saucepan, cook the bacon until crisp. Remove from pan and crumble into small pieces.
Set aside. Reserve the bacon grease.

2. In that same saucepan, saute the onion and garlic until translucent and fragrant. Add the white wine in the last minute or so of cooking. Remove from heat and set aside.

3. Cook pasta according to instructions on the box. While the pasta is cooking, lightly beat the eggs and grated parmesean together in a small bowl and set aside.

4. Drain the pasta and put back into the pot. Add the cracked pepper, the onion/garlic mixture and the crumbled bacon, stir well.

5.Let the pasta cool for a minute or so and then quickly add all of the egg and cheese mixture, stirring the pasta well the entire time to coat evenly. Continue to stir for 30 seconds or so to ensure that there is no liquid sticking to the sides of the pot. Serve immediately with the parsley and more grated parmesean if desired.

8:30 p.m. (approx.)

8:37 p.m. (approx.)