Mad Dills

Memorial Day weekend is a fantastic occasion for a number of reasons. Aside from the fact that it is an important time to honor and give thanks to all of our servicewomen and men for risking their lives (and don't you forget it -- beer comes second to this), it also serves as the start of grilling season.

Grillers, light your coals.

MDW is a culinary smorgasbord of crispy charred meats dripping with cheese. There are few things more inherently satisfying than a charbroiled burger with a fat slice of cheddar oozing over the sides. Lord have mercy.

Obviously all the classic grilled meats will come into play this weekend, but we would be loath to ignore the side dish on a weekend like this.

Sadly, hotdogs and hamburgers are the perennial stars and side dishes become congealed mayonnaisey afterthoughts, typically picked up at your neighborhood Jewel-Osco.

Let's change that this year. Let's say yes to cornbread, yes to bright and briny bean salads, yes to properly constructed slaws!

Preach, LL

I typically hate slaws -- more often than not they are overly sweet, drowning in mayo and hopelessly limp even before they've sat under the blazing sun for a few hours. The thing is, a good slaw is an excellent counterpoint to a hunk of grilled meat. Creamy, crunchy and tangy, meet greasy, chewy and juicy. Truly, a match made in heaven and a relationship that has lasted longer than 100% of Bachelor(ette) marriages.

This is a recipe for a beautifully simple and deliriously easy dill slaw. It doesn't have any white sugar or weird ingredients in it, and it'll go even faster if you get a bag of pre-shredded cabbage and carrots. Feel free to adjust the levels of seasoning, but remember that a slaw should be fairly mild so it doesn't overpower the main players.


Ingredients:
1 medium head green cabbage, shredded
1 c. shredded carrot
1 c. shredded radicchio (optional -- if added, increase mayo as needed)
3/4 c. mayonnaise
1 tbs. white vinegar
2 tbs. fresh dill, minced
Freshly ground black pepper to taste

1. Combine mayo, vinegar, dill and black pepper in a small bowl. Whisk to combine. Adjust seasoning to taste.

2. In a large bowl, mix together the cabbage and carrots until evenly incorporated. Fold in dill mayo and mix until well coated.

Orange You Glad...

...I'm not going to finish that horrible joke? The temptation was significant, let me tell you.

Sorry for the brief hiatus but Tommy and I decided to go to Switzerland for a long weekend. Yes, I know, I am living the dream. Also they really do know their chocolate and cheese out there.

Were it not for the fact that it is the most absurdly expensive place I've ever been, I would totally move there. Gorgeous scenery, amazing food and the cleanest bathrooms I've ever seen. Everywhere we went. Seriously. As those close to me can tell you, this is very important to me. In other news, after eating gruyere fondue in Gruyere (heh), The Melting Pot is totally ruined for me.

As fun as the weekend was, it was expensive and pretty darn heavy as far as culinary options go. We did manage to eat a ton of ethnic food however which made me incredibly happy. Thai, Indian and Ethiopian (Tommy's first time!) were all happily consumed. Especially the Ethiopian food. Those people know their way around a lentil, let me tell you.

Therefore, Tommy and I have wanted to keep things pretty light since we got home. Lots of fresh fruits and veggies, not quite as much chocolate (but really still kind of a lot...whatever). This is a whacked-out quasi-fruit salad that makes fantastic use of the wealth of citrus fruits we are blessed with out here, plus the overwhelming supply of olives. It sounds like a strange and even unappetizing combination but trust me, the sweet/sour/salty flavors play together in the nicest possible way.

Additionally, you don't have to cut the oranges into supremes (the fancy way to say peeled wedges) but it makes consumption easier and looks really pretty. Here's a good step-by-step tutorial if you're interested.

It's worth it to use good quality olive oil if you have it for this recipe. A bright, grassy flavor will play best with the citrus. If not, good old extra-virgin will do as well.

This is a great side dish and would pair well with most whitefish and maybe couscous. In fact, that sounds pretty damn good for dinner tonight. This also works best if it sits briefly (30 minutes, give or take) to let the flavors really meld. If you have culinarily adventurous friends, this would make an awesome potluck dish: you will look like a super inventive chef and you don't even have to tell them it only took 15 minutes to put together.

Ingredients:
4-5 oranges (mix of navel, blood, etc.), cut into supremes
1/2 c. pitted green olives, roughly chopped
1/2 red onion, chopped
1/4 c. good-quality olive oil
2-3 tbs. fresh chives, finely minced

1. Carefully supreme your oranges, or alternatively, slice them into thin rounds.

2. Combine the oranges, green olives and red onion in a medium sized bowl and drizzle with the olive oil, mixing to combine.


3. Refrigerate for about 30 minutes. Add chives just before serving.

Game of Scones

What comes to mind when you think of the wildly popular HBO series Game of Thrones? Sex, darkness, blood and surprise top my list. Also blonde hair envy...damn. So what does any of that have to do with baking scones?

For my part, scones and I have a love-hate relationship. I love eating them, I hate making them. I always make a gigantic mess while rolling out the sticky dough, invariably spilling flour everywhere which forces my nails into the palms of my hands with surprising force--blood.

The darkness comes from the fact that scones should be baked blind: as in, leave that oven door shut. Opening and closing it over and over again to check the doneness of the scones changes the temperature inside and can reduce fluffiness.

Scones are not really a sexy food either. They're more of an old British grandma drinking tea with her ankles crossed prettily. These scones, however, combine tart lemon and sweet berries in a way that could only be described as food porn. Sex on a scone.

And finally surprise: when I take the first bite of a steaming hot scone fresh out of the oven, I'm instantly inspired to bake more, even though I know it makes me crazy.

These lemon berry scones use greek yogurt which makes them a little bit lighter than normal scones which use cream. That's not to say they're healthy in any way--they're not. But who cares? They're so good it really doesn't matter. And they're too much work to make with any sort of regularity. The trick to good scones is to not handle the dough very much. As with any flour-based baked good, the more you mess with it the worse it will be. Feel free to use blueberries, raspberries and blackberries in any combination for this recipe. There's no way it can be bad.

Ingredients:
2 c. flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. lemon zest, finely grated
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. turbinado (large-grain) brown sugar
Scant 6 tbs. unsalted butter, cubed and chilled
1 c. greek yogurt
Milk for extra moisture (if necessary) and brushing.
1 heaping cup mixed berries

For the icing:
3/4 c. powdered sugar, sifted
1 tbs. lemon juice
1 tsp. lemon zest

1. Preheat oven to 415F.  Line a flat baking pan with baking paper and set aside.

2. Add flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, sugar and lemon zest to a large glass or ceramic bowl. Add the butter and use your fingertips (or a food processor) to incorporate it into the flour until the butter is incorporated throughout the flour in the size of small peas (same as making pastry dough).

3. Gently stir in the berries and then add the yogurt. Fold through gently. Add a splash of milk if mixture is too dry.  Do not over-mix.

4. Form the mixture into a ball by kneading gently and place onto a flat, clean, lightly floured surface.  Pat into a round of around 2 inches thick. Slice into triangles and place onto the prepared baking pan, putting the triangles back into the round shape.

5. Brush the tops with extra milk and bake for around 20-25 minutes or until light golden brown on the top and cooked through.

6. While the scones are baking, combine all the ingredients for the icing and whisk hard until they are all incorporated and the glaze is smooth.

7. Transfer scones to a wire rack to cool.  Once completely cool, ice tops with lemon drizzle.

This recipe is originally from A Splash of Vanilla.

I Can't Believe it's Not (Peanut) Butter!

Here is a true fact about me: I am wholly, unabashedly, potentially dangerously, unrepentantly addicted to peanut butter.

I have been known to eat it with a spoon straight out of the jar...at someone else's house.

Seriously, I might have a problem.

So much so that I made Tommy bring a 1 lb. jar of Whole Foods All Natural Crunchy to Spain with us (taking the place of several very important things he intended to pack). NOT SORRY.

My sainted mother sent me another jar just a few months later and we had been portioning it out (read: I was not allowed to stick a soup spoon in there for breakfast) until further supplies could be located.

But then Tommy got me/us a blender for Valentine's Day. Romantic, I know. No seriously, he knew how much I wanted one. And in between hummus and velvety-smooth soups, Tommy decided to make peanut butter.

And make peanut butter he did. This is without question the best peanut butter I've ever tasted. Between the two of us we were taking "healthy fats" to a whole new level. It was getting somewhat worrisome. Everything went out the window when he added a whole bar of dark chocolate to the last batch. I don't even have words for it. I was almost mad at him, it was that good.

Then Tommy decided he was going to make almond butter. I am a big fan. Not only is it a fun change from my BFFPB but it is also crazy delicious in its own right. Huge shoutout to MaraNatha which makes my current favorite basic almond butter.

We decided to get fancy with it and make vanilla almond butter with cinnamon and while we nearly set the blender on fire, the butter was DEFINITELY worth the squeeze. Would we make it again without a proper food processor? No, probably not. It was a pain. But once I get back to Chicago, all bets are off.

Also fun fact, almond butter is Kosher for Passover whereas peanut butter is not. I know. Worst holiday ever. At least Yom Kippur is only one day of torture.

A quick note: be patient with the poor almonds. It takes about 15 minutes for the butter to really get going. Don't give up on them.

Ingredients:
2 c. raw almonds
2 tbs. honey
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. sea salt

1. Carefully toast the almonds in a large saucepan over medium-low heat until fragrant, about 5 minutes. Watch them carefully so they don't burn. Let cool.

2. In a blender or a food processor, combine all the ingredients.

3. Pulse until the almonds are grainy and pretty finely ground, about 1-2 minutes. Scrape down the sides as needed.

4. Let the blender/food processor run for about 10-15 minutes until the oils start to release. Again, scrape down the sides as needed, and again BE PATIENT.

Enjoy on toast, apple slices or a spoon.

Rosemary's Baby

I know I just posted yesterday, but I'm sick and I'm bored and I really don't feel like studying for my Spanish certification exam so consider yourselves very lucky.

That being said, because I am sick and cranky and can't hear out of my left ear, this will not be a fun and bubbly post. I'm too grumpy.

Anyway.

Sometimes I get all into making a fancy main course like a whole roasted chicken or shepherd's pie (coming soon to a blog near you) and I end up with zero inspiration for the side dishes.

I'm already worn out from ripping errant tail feathers out of a chicken carcass or attempting to skin fish so the last thing I want to do is whip up a batch of cranberry and almond wild rice or make some homemade mashed potatoes.

Therefore, I bring you these little gems. They're beyond easy and also, happily, beyond delicious: they're rosemary and garlic smashed potatoes. I made these to go along with some baked salmon for Tommy and he's been asking me to make more ever since. I recommend making a large batch because not only do they reheat exceptionally well but they would also be fantastic as part of a breakfast skillet with sausage, eggs and asparagus.

Do yourself a favor and only use fresh rosemary for these. If you try and use dried the flavor won't be the same at all really and they won't be great. Also, don't overcook the taters when you boil them or they'll just fall apart during the baking stage.

Also fun, these are kosher for Passover! I know, that hideous holiday is creeping right up on us. Because my parents are the world's greatest and my mother is Queen of the Care Package, I received a box of Manischewitz goodies including egg matzoh, matzoh ball soup mix and honey cake. I'm going to try to keep K4P but we'll see how that goes. At least I can inflict some minor damage on my intestinal system with the supplies my parents sent me. I'm so loved.

Ingredients:
10 small red potatoes, scrubbed
1/3 c. EVOO
2 tsp. fresh rosemary, chopped
3 medium cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper.

1. In a large pot, bring water to a boil. Cook the potatoes, completely covered in water, until tender--about 20 to 25 minutes.

2.  Remove the potatoes, cool and drain on a clean dish towel for a few minutes. Preheat the oven to 450 and line a baking sheet with foil or parchment paper.

3. Carefully smash the tops of each of the potatoes with a measuring cup or the palm of your hand (carefully!!!) until each potato is about 1.5" thick.

Drizzle the EVOO evenly over and under all the potatoes and distribute the garlic, rosemary, salt and pepper among them.

4. Bake until crispy and golden brown, about 25 to 30 minutes.

Veggie Tales

Sunday.

The day that reminds you just how many whiskey sours you drank last night (even though you SWORE you were going to stick to the less-caloric but infinitely more vile vodka-water-lime).

The day that reminds you just how often you mentally clocked out at 4 in the afternoon during the week...or 3:30 on Thursday and Friday.

The day that cooking magazines say you should set aside for lavish, multi-meat stews that simmer all day on the stovetop, drawing your attractive, loving and undoubtedly ethnic family from miles around to convene at your rustic wooden table for a beautiful dinner.

I'm calling bullshit.

Sorry Food and Wine, you know I love you, but ain't nobody got time for braciole when they're beating back an unprecedented hangover (or merely too preoccupied by the upcoming Bears-Packers game to work over an open flame).

Thusly, I present you a twofer: oven roasted broccoli and cinnamon-glazed baby carrots.

Both take less than 15 minutes to prep and don't require any weird ingredients. In fact, I will find it worrisome if you don't have all the ingredients for these recipes. They're healthy and extremely delicious, the broccoli especially--like what kale chips wish they could be when they grow up. And you can feel good about doing enough cooking to just make some plain pasta. Or, you know, order pizza.

Oven-roasted Broccoli

Ingredients:
1 large head of broccoli, chopped into smaller florets
About 1/4 c. EVOO
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper

1. Preheat the oven to 400F.

2. Spread the broccoli florets evenly on a large baking sheet.

3. Drizzle with the olive oil and toss to coat. Add kosher salt and pepper to taste.

4. Bake for about 15 minutes, then toss. Bake for another 5-10 minutes depending on how crunchy you like your broccoli. Serve immediately.
















Cinnamon-glazed Baby Carrots

Ingredients:
1 lb. baby carrots
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
1-2 tbs. canola oil (to taste)
1 tbs. honey

1. Preheat the oven to 350F.

2. In a large bowl, toss the carrot sticks with the canola oil and cinnamon.

3. Spread evenly in a baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes.

4. Remove carrots from oven and drizzle with the honey.

Stir briefly to coat and return carrots to oven for another 5 minutes or until desired texture is achieved. Serve immediately.

Stick It

So in honor of finals week, I'm doing a post on one of the most classic comfort foods of all time: the mozzarella stick.

There really are few things that compare to the crispy, gooey glory that is a deep-fried ball of cheese covered in Italian breadcrumbs and then dunked in marinara sauce. Jesus, I have a food boner just thinking about it.

In other news, you should totally follow @hipstermermaid on Twitter
because he frequently says hilarious stuff like this.

Now it's pretty hard to mess up a mozzarella stick. Even the most miserable of restaurants can get it right.

Actually, I take that back. Sophomore year of high school I went on an ill-fated date with a kid a couple years older than me from our high school. I had just become a vegetarian, so this moron takes me to Buffalo Wild Wings. Not only did I have to suffer through the most pathetic excuse for a salad I had ever encountered (not to mention this kid's company), the mozzarella sticks we ordered as an appetizer came frozen in the middle. Worst. Date. Ever. And in all my 22 years of living, the only time I've ever seen mozzarella sticks get messed up.

But I digress.

Although your life currently revolves around frantically cramming an entire semester's worth of knowledge into your heads and chugging Red Bull like it's water, you may actually get hungry when you come down from that addy binge.

And as I learned the hard way yesterday, delivery food is absurdly slow during finals week. Case in point: my friend and I ordered sushi from a restaurant literally 3 blocks away and it took two hours to get to us. TWO HOURS. And I know you're thinking, "You lazy pieces of shit why didn't you just walk?" To answer that very valid question, I submit the excuse that it was cold and rainy.

So getting to the point: make your own mozzarella sticks tonight. It takes literally 10 minutes max, and you have instant comfort food to distract you from the misery that is final exams. The only semi-tricky part is that the cheese sticks have to be frozen all the way through or they'll just melt into mush when you pan fry them. But they're so small it hardly takes more than a couple hours.

Anyway, as the bible says, man shall not live on Easy Mac alone but on delicious homemade comfort food.

 Ingredients (as an appetizer, for 3):

5 part-skim mozzarella cheese sticks, frozen solid
1/2 c. Italian flavored breadcrumbs (or if you only have plain, add 1/2 tsp. salt, 1/4 tsp. Italian seasoning and a couple grinds of black pepper)
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/4 c. vegetable oil
Marinara sauce for dipping


1. Cut the mozzarella sticks into bite size chunks







2. Dunk the mozzarella chunks first into the egg wash, then roll them in the bread crumbs, making sure the entire surface is evenly covered.



3. In a small sauteé pan, heat about half the oil over medium heat. You don't want the oil or the pan to be too hot or the breadcrumbs will just burn.

4. Working in batches, fry the mozzarella bites for just about 30-45 seconds on each side, or until the breadcrumbs are golden brown. Drain on a paper towel before serving.

A very Bite Me Thanksgiving

Stepford Pie

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone and I gotta say, despite being far away from my home and family and the usual traditions, this year's Thanksgiving is up there in my top five. We did a small dinner with the people in our apartment building plus a few out-of-towners and a few others too. Despite some last minute terror that the turkey would not be big enough (it was) and the fact that I made 2lbs. of biscuit dough that ended up bitter as a recent divorcee, the night was a total success.

And yeah, the food was BOMB.

I don't have recipes for everything that got eaten nor do I have photographs of everything (yet) but this will certainly be added to so that eventually most of the menu with recipes and photographs will be featured here.

Not to get all sappy on you but experiencing a landmark day in a foreign country with (mostly) foreign people really helped me think about what I'm actually grateful for, and not just my car and crap like that. As a true creature of comfort and habit getting out of my little bubble made me realize just how much I have to be thankful for every single day of the year. Plus I got to FaceTime with my best friend for the first time in months yesterday. A fantastic moment in an all-around fantastic day. Now without further ado...

Menu:

Herb roasted turkey with gravy

Vegan mashed potatoes

Sweet yams with crunchy granola topping

Classic green bean casserole

Ultra cheesy baconcentric mac and cheese

Cranberry orange relish

Vegan stuffing

Corn pudding with white cheddar and thyme

Apple pie

Dark chocolate pumpkin pie

Pie crust cookies

Golden grahams s'mores bars

Spiced peaches

A note about roasting a whole turkey: If you had success with roasting a whole chicken, you'll be just fine. Tommy and I got our bird sans head/feet/wings from our butcher but Tommy was tasked with the unhappy job of plucking the remaining feathers...and scooping out part of the esophagus. Glorious Europe. In any case, the recipe for a basic turkey is ridiculously simple. It just involves planning ahead. A stuffed turkey takes 20 minutes per pound to cook, an unstuffed turkey takes 16 minutes. Either way, a turkey needs to rest for at least 30 before carving to let all the juices set up. The temperature of the bird will continue to rise between 10 and 15 degrees F after it's out of the oven so keep this in mind, otherwise you'll have an overcooked bird. Tommy was in charge of carving and did a masterful job. Plus he looks really pretty in an apron.

Herb-Roasted Turkey with Gravy

Ingredients:
1 16-18 lb. turkey
20 sprigs fresh parsley
20 sprigs fresh rosemary
20 sprigs fresh thyme
20 sprigs fresh sage
1 onion, halved lengthwise
1 head garlic, halved lengthwise
1/2 c. EVOO
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

1. Set the turkey in a large, lightly oiled roasting pan. Shove all of the herbs, the onion and the head of garlic in the body cavity. Rub the skin all over with the olive oil and season well with salt and pepper.

2. Roast at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 2.5-3 hours. If the skin of the turkey starts to look very brown, cover with foil.

To make the gravy:
Okay, so no one told me that making gravy is actually kind of hard. God bless Tommy, because he took over for me while I was mashing myself into a dress and painting my face in order to look like a real human being and not one that had spent the last 8 hours in a kitchen. I'm not really sure how he did it, but it turned out great. Here are the instructions that Food and Wine gives in order to make gravy. I didn't take pictures during the process because I was too busy incurring grease burns and wondering what the hell I was doing and if it would work. Also I probably would have dropped my camera into the stock pot.

Ingredients:
3 cups of stock (chicken or turkey)
3 tbs. butter
3 tbs. flour


1. Remove the turkey to a cutting board to let rest. Pour the pan juices from the turkey into a heatproof bowl and skim off the fat.

The aftermath.

2. Set the roasting pan over 2 burners on high heat until sizzling. Add 1 cup of stock (chicken or turkey) and bring to a boil, scraping up any browned bits stuck to the bottom and side of the pan; add to the pan juices in the bowl.

3.In a medium saucepan, melt the butter. Add the flour and cook over moderately high heat for 1 minute. Add the pan juices and remaining 2 cups of stock to the saucepan and cook, whisking, until the gravy is thickened and no floury taste remains, about 5 minutes. 

Ultra-Decadent, Baconcentric Mac and Cheese

At the last minute, Tommy decided he wanted to make something other than cranberry orange relish so he pulled out all the stops and whipped up this mac and cheese with an entire package of Oscar Meyer bacon in it. Needless to say, it was unbelievably delicious. Here's the caveat though, it doesn't reheat well at all. The cheesiness had utterly dissipated by lunch on Friday afternoon so you'd do best to eat this all the same night. Considering the ingredients are mostly animal by-products and pasta that have been baked into a gooey bubbling mess, I don't think it should be a problem

Ingredients:

1 pack of bacon

8 oz. pasta

1 onion, chopped

2 cloves of garlic, minced

3 c. shredded cheddar cheese (mix of yellow and white)

2 tbs. butter

3 tbs. flour

2 c. milk

1/4 c. breadcrumbs

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Place bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Drain, crumble and set aside.

2. In a large pot with boiling salted water cook pasta until al dente. Drain. While the pasta is cooking, saute in a medium saute the chopped onion, and minced garlic. Take off heat and add chopped cooked bacon and set aside.

3. To make the sauce, in a medium saucepan melt the butter  over low heat. Once melted, add the flour and stir constantly for 2 minutes. Gradually add milk and continue stirring until thickened. Stir in 2 cups of the grated cheese and stir until melted.

4. Combine cooked pasta, sauteed vegetables and sauce. Pour into a 2 quart casserole dish. Add the last cup of grated Cheddar cheese to top of mixture as well as the breadcrumbs, sprinkled evenly over the top.

5. Bake uncovered in preheated oven until cheese on top is melted and brown, 15 to 20 minutes. Serve warm.

Vegan Stuffing

All right, I know what you're thinking: gross, vegan stuffing? Doesn't that go against all Thanksgiving traditions? But my answer is no, friends. You couldn't even tell that this stuffing is vegan and it tastes unbelievable too. My family usually gets the pre-cut, pre-seasoned breadcrumbs from McCormick but they don't have those in Spain so I did it myself with some seriously stale bread and fresh herbs and the result was far and away better than the packaged stuff. So while it does involve a little more work (and I did cut part of my thumb off while slicing the bread), the juice is ultimately worth the savory, delicious squeeze.

Ingredients:

12 c. stale bread, cubed

1/2 tsp. each parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

3 ribs celery, diced

3 medium carrots, sliced into rounds

1 c. mushrooms

Handful of cippolini onions (also known as pearl onions)

3 tbs. olive oil

Freshly ground pepper and kosher salt

4. c. vegetable stock

1. Mince all the herbs finely. In a large pan, saute all of the vegetables and herbs in the olive oil and season well with salt and pepper.

2. Combine the cubed bread and vegetables and mix well. Spread into a 2 quart casserole dish and pour the stock evenly over the top. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes and serve hot.

Corn Pudding with White Cheddar and Thyme

Another Food & Wine classic, this corn pudding kicks your average corn-on-corn pudding to the curb with the addition of fresh thyme and white cheddar. I actually would have been fine with a little more thyme in the recipe because I couldn't really taste it all that much but it's up to you. The recipe is somewhat labor intensive but it can also be made mostly the night before. Just refrigerate it overnight (after step two) and bring to room temperature before you bake it.

Ingredients:

4 tbs. unsalted butter, plus more for greasing

1 onion, finely chopped

2 tsp. minced thyme

4 c. frozen corn kernels (about 20 oz.), thawed

1/2 c. stone-ground cornmeal

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

5 large eggs

3 c. half and half

1 c. shredded sharp white cheddar cheese

1.      Preheat the oven to 350°. Butter a 9-by-13-inch shallow ceramic baking dish. In a large skillet, melt the butter. Add the onion and thyme and cook over moderate heat until the onion is softened, about 8 minutes.

Remove from the heat. Add the corn and cornmeal and toss to combine. Season with salt and pepper and let cool.

2. In a large bowl, whisk the eggs with the half-and-half. In a blender or food processor, combine 1 cup of the custard with 1 cup of the corn mixture and puree until smooth. Whisk the puree into the custard. Then stir in the corn mixture, cheese, 2 teaspoons of salt and 1/2 teaspoon of pepper until well blended.

3. Spread the mixture in the prepared baking dish and bake for about 40 minutes, until the pudding is slightly puffed and just starting to brown. Let stand for 10 minutes before serving.

Cranberry-Orange Relish

This was my favorite thing we had at Thanksgiving dinner. The recipe comes from Tommy's mom and is fantastically simple and delicious. I want to eat this stuff every morning: plain, on toast, in my oatmeal. Too bad it has an entire cup of sugar in it...wonk. This is something you need to make ahead of time because it's best when all the flavors dance around in that Tupperware for a few days resulting in a glorious red-orange combination. By the way, a single cup of cranberries in Spain will run you almost 5 euros so be thankful you can get them by the frozen bushel for like 80 cents a pound at Costco. This is utterly fantastic on a leftovers sandwich by the way.

Ingredients:

2 c cranberries

1 c sugar

1/2 orange, seeded

1. Combine all ingredients in a food processor and chop into small pieces but do not blend. Let sit for a day or two in the fridge to let all the flavors combine.

Vegan mashed potatoes

One of the girls who lives in my apartment building can't eat dairy at all, like not even a little bit, so she volunteered to make the mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner so that even the diet-restricted could enjoy them. This pleased me as I can't eat regular mashed potatoes either as the main ingredients are potatoes, butter and heavy cream. Andrea's vegan mashed potatoes were UNREAL. You would never know that they were vegan or that they had cauliflower in them. I don't know how the girl did it because they were silky smooth and perfect. She used 20 potatoes and a whole head of cauliflower to make mashed taters for a crowd so I'm going to downsize the recipe here a little bit. Feel free to substitute vegan spread for margarine or butter if that's your thing. Also feel free to include more or less garlic. Either way, these were some unbelievably tasty mashed potatoes and it was great to be able to eat them and not have to worry about getting sick later.

Ingredients:

6 potatoes, peeled

1/4 head cauliflower

2 cloves garlic, minced

3 tbs. vegan butter spread

1/4 c. soy creamer

Kosher salt and pepper to taste

1. Boil the mashed potatoes and cauliflower until they are soft to the touch, about 10-15 minutes (depending on the size).

2. While the veggies are boiling, saute the garlic in the butter spread until translucent. Add the soy creamer and whisk well.

3. Combine the potatoes and cauliflower in a food processor and puree (or mash by hand) while slowly adding the liquid ingredients. Season to taste with Kosher salt and pepper.

The "Classic" classic green bean casserole

So this is going to sound weird but I had never actually tried green bean casserole before this Thanksgiving. I think it's because my mother has an aversion to canned vegetables and also because she might have been force-fed one too many casseroles as a child of the 70s when everything was either a casserole, a Jell-o salad or both. One of my guy friends in the apartment building contributed the green bean casserole and it was thoroughly enjoyed by all and I guess is a really classic part of most Thanksgiving dinners. Chalk it up to the Suss family defying tradition at all cost.

Ingredients:
3 cans of green beans
1 can cream of mushroom soup (preferably Campbells)
Pepper to taste
1/4 - 3/4 c. milk (depending on how runny you like it)
1 can French fried onions

1. In a medium sized bowl, combine the soup, milk and pepper. Whisk to combine. Add the green beans and half of the fried onions.
2. Place in a casserole dish and bake at 350 Fahrenheit for 30 minutes. Remove from the oven, sprinkle the rest of the onions on and bake for another five minutes or until they start to brown. Serve hot.

Dark Chocolate Pumpkin Pie

At my family's Thanksgiving dinner, I'm always in charge of the dessert. No matter what, I make a pumpkin pie but recently I've been branching out to things like blueberry pie and a truly heinous pumpkin spice rice pudding with brandy-soaked cherries. Ugh. Anyway, this year I found a recipe for chocolate-swirled pumpkin pie on Food & Wine (obviously) and it looked unreal...and it was. Unquestionably the best pie I think I've ever made, or eaten. Not to toot my own horn. I'll include the recipe for traditional pumpkin pie here as well. The secret to my family's pumpkin pie is the addition of good maple syrup. It gives the flavor an extra push and even my friends in Alicante who said they usually don't like pumpkin pie were heavy into this one. I also learned how to cook fresh pumpkin since the whole of Spain was out of the canned variety and I'm glad I took the plunge because the flavor was so much sweeter and more intense that it was worth practically ruining our strainer and incurring a serious steam burn. Basically all you have to do is steam the pumpkin over boiling water for about 45 minutes or until it's totally mush and then beat it a little bit to make sure there are no lumps. Easy as...

Ingredients:

4 large eggs

3/4 c. sugar

1 tbs. cornstarch

2 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. cloves

Pinch of salt

1 15-oz can pumpkin puree

1 recipe pie dough (double if making pie crust cookies -- see below)

1/2 c. heavy cream

3 oz. bittersweet chocolate, melted and cooled slightly

*I used more than 3 oz. because I brushed the bottom of the crust with more melted chocolate because I though a higher caloric content was necessary.

1. Follow the instructions for making flaky pastry crust/pie dough. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough to a 13-inch round a scant 1/4 inch thick. Fit the dough into a 9-inch glass pie plate. Trim the edge to 3/4 inch; fold the dough under itself and crimp decoratively. Refrigerate the pie shell for 10 minutes.

2. Line the pie shell with foil and fill with uncooked rice. Bake in the center of the oven until nearly set, about 25 minutes. Remove the foil and weights and bake until the crust is pale golden, about 10 minutes longer. Let cool slightly.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk the eggs, sugar, cornstarch, cinnamon, cloves and salt until smooth. Whisk in the pumpkin puree, then the cream. If you're going to brush the bottom of the crust with chocolate, now's the time to do it.

4. Transfer 1 cup of the filling to a bowl and whisk in the melted chocolate. Working near the oven, pour the rest of the pumpkin filling into the crust. Dollop the chocolate filling on top and swirl it in with a butter knife.

5. Bake the pie for about 45 minutes, until the custard is set. Cover the crust with strips of foil if it browns too quickly. Cool the pie on a wire rack completely before serving.

Maple Pumpkin Pie

Ingredients:

1 recipe flaky pie crust

1 15-oz. can pumpkin puree

1/4 c. maple syrup

1 12-oz. can evaporated milk

2 eggs

1 c. packed light brown sugar

1 tbs. flour

1/2 tsp. salt

2 1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice

*Or 2 tsp. cinnamon, 1/8 tsp. nutmeg, 1/8 tsp. allspice, 1/4 tsp. ground ginger

1. In a large bowl, slightly beat eggs. Add brown sugar, flour, salt, pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, maple syrup and evaporated milk. Stir well after each addition.

2. Pour mixture into the unbaked pastry shell. Place a strip of aluminum foil around the edge of the crust to prevent over browning.

3. Bake 10 minutes at 450 degrees Fahrenheit then reduce the oven temperature to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Bake an additional 40 to 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Remove the strip of foil about 20 minutes before the pie is done so that the edge of the crust will be a light golden brown. Cool pie completely on a wire rack and serve with fresh whipped cream.

Pie Crust Cookies

A friend of mine in Alicante told me about these fantastic little cookies that are a great way to use up spare pie dough (or placate the non-pie eater in your life at holiday time). You could totally use a cute cookie cutter to shape these but I just use a drinking glass. The key is to not overbake these little suckers. They're good when they're crispy but not as tasty when slightly burned. 

Ingredients:

1 recipe pie crust

1/4 c. white sugar

2 tsp. cinnamon

1. On a lightly floured surface, roll the pie crust out to about 1/8" thickness and cut into circles//hearts/stars/rainbows/clovers/blue moons. 

2. Mix the sugar and cinnamon together in a small bowl. Sprinkle generously on top of the cookies. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 8 minutes, or until cookies are golden brown.

Spiced Peaches

One of the girls who came to dinner brought spiced peaches for a lighter dessert option. I had also made spiced peaches earlier in the week and I combined  the two recipes to make this one. I eat them for breakfast heated up but you can also smother them in lightly sweetened whipped cream and call it a day.

Ingredients:

5 large peaches, peeled and diced

1 tsp. cinnamon

1/8 tsp. nutmeg

2 tbs. honey
1 tbs. fresh lemon juice

1. Combine all ingredients in a small pot and simmer over medium heat for 10-15 minutes or until fragrant, stirring often. Serve warm.

Apples to apples

One more for you today because Dexter is taking a long-ass time to buffer. Also I'm feeling magnanimous and because I'll be gone in Barcelona this coming weekend so there will be no blogging.

I give you: apple salad.

This is one of my favorite breakfasts to make because it not only keeps me full for a long time it's also easy. You can also eat it for a quick snack to tide you over until your next meal and not feel badly about blowing calories on something from a vending machine.

This is always more fun if you have good stuff to put in it like pecans and hazelnuts and stuff like that but the bare bones (apples and yogurt) are good by themselves too.

I always use fat-free Greek yogurt in it because it has more protein in it and fewer calories than most other yogurts. And for god's sake, if you haven't heard this already stop eating "light" flavored yogurt because it's just packed with refined sugars and isn't really worth the calories. You're better off taking plain yogurt or plain Greek yogurt and putting a teaspoon of your favorite jam into it. And yes, just one teaspoon.

Anyway, back to apple salad. I like to spice mine up (ha ha) with a little cinnamon, nutmeg and ground ginger but you can do what you'd like. If plain yogurt isn't sweet enough for you, add a small drizzle of honey, although the sugar in the apple should be more than enough.

When I made this the last time, I added sultana raisins, hazelnuts and walnuts to the mix and it was delicious. Tommy ended up eating a lot more of it than I bargained for but oh well. It's so easy you can make it again in 5 minutes.

Ingredients:
1 half apple, cubed
5 oz. plain non-fat Greek yogurt (just one of those little cups)
1 tbs. raisins
2 tbs. chopped nuts
Pinch each of cinnamon, ground ginger, nutmeg

1. Mix all ingredients together in a small bowl and stir to incorporate the spices. Chow down, guilt free.

Slaw no gettum firewood

So extra points to you, dear reader, if you can name what excessively racist Disney movie the title of this blog post comes from.

Ding ding ding! It's Peter Pan!

I watched this awhile ago with one of my good friends and we were totally taken aback at the obvious racism in that movie. From the "Indians" speaking in Pidgin English and calling Wendy "squaw" to the footprints that denote the name of the tribe, Peter Pan is all kinds of messed up. I actually don't think I can watch Peter Pan again because it was so bizarrely off-color.

Attempting to relive stuff from your childhood can sort of screw with you I think.

Anyway, the real reason for the title of this post is that I couldn't think of anything funny to say about this Asian salad slaw I made.

This is the next in the recent line of stupid easy recipes that require no cooking in deference to our East Coast pals slogging it out with Sandy.

Raise your hand if you'd like the entire cast of Jersey Shore to be swept out to sea never to be seen again.

In any case, this would be a lot easier with a food processor or a large plane grater but you can totally make do with a good chef's knife. That way you can also work on your knife skills like I did and remember just how badly it sucks to julienne foods.

FYI: julienne is when you cut a food into equal matchstick-shaped pieces.

This is one of those where you can definitely FFTFW by adding hot chili flakes, more lime juice, salt, grated ginger, radicchio, whatever you think will taste good given the flavor profile. The only thing I don't recommend changing is the type of vinegar (rice wine) because if you use malt vinegar or apple cider vinegar for example, it might taste weird.

This is an excellent accompaniment to a spicy main dish like curry or blackened fish tacos but you could also just grill steak or chicken and throw it on top of the slaw for an entire meal.

This will keep for two or three days in the fridge before it starts to go weird.

Ingredients:

2 medium carrots, peeled

1 large cucumber, peeled

1/4 head green cabbage 

1/4 c. rice wine vinegar

Juice of 2 limes

1/4 tsp. crushed red chili flakes

1/4 tsp. kosher salt

2 tbs. crushed peanuts

1. Cut the vegetables into equal sized pieces (julienne) or use your food processor to grate BUT NOT BLEND them.

2. In a large bowl, combine all the vegetables and peanuts and mix them together well.

3. In a separate bowl, combine the vinegar, lime juice, chili flakes and salt and whisk to combine.

4. Pour the dressing over the salad and toss to coat. Serve immediately with more crushed peanuts for garnish, if desired.