Orange You Glad...

...I'm not going to finish that horrible joke? The temptation was significant, let me tell you.

Sorry for the brief hiatus but Tommy and I decided to go to Switzerland for a long weekend. Yes, I know, I am living the dream. Also they really do know their chocolate and cheese out there.

Were it not for the fact that it is the most absurdly expensive place I've ever been, I would totally move there. Gorgeous scenery, amazing food and the cleanest bathrooms I've ever seen. Everywhere we went. Seriously. As those close to me can tell you, this is very important to me. In other news, after eating gruyere fondue in Gruyere (heh), The Melting Pot is totally ruined for me.

As fun as the weekend was, it was expensive and pretty darn heavy as far as culinary options go. We did manage to eat a ton of ethnic food however which made me incredibly happy. Thai, Indian and Ethiopian (Tommy's first time!) were all happily consumed. Especially the Ethiopian food. Those people know their way around a lentil, let me tell you.

Therefore, Tommy and I have wanted to keep things pretty light since we got home. Lots of fresh fruits and veggies, not quite as much chocolate (but really still kind of a lot...whatever). This is a whacked-out quasi-fruit salad that makes fantastic use of the wealth of citrus fruits we are blessed with out here, plus the overwhelming supply of olives. It sounds like a strange and even unappetizing combination but trust me, the sweet/sour/salty flavors play together in the nicest possible way.

Additionally, you don't have to cut the oranges into supremes (the fancy way to say peeled wedges) but it makes consumption easier and looks really pretty. Here's a good step-by-step tutorial if you're interested.

It's worth it to use good quality olive oil if you have it for this recipe. A bright, grassy flavor will play best with the citrus. If not, good old extra-virgin will do as well.

This is a great side dish and would pair well with most whitefish and maybe couscous. In fact, that sounds pretty damn good for dinner tonight. This also works best if it sits briefly (30 minutes, give or take) to let the flavors really meld. If you have culinarily adventurous friends, this would make an awesome potluck dish: you will look like a super inventive chef and you don't even have to tell them it only took 15 minutes to put together.

Ingredients:
4-5 oranges (mix of navel, blood, etc.), cut into supremes
1/2 c. pitted green olives, roughly chopped
1/2 red onion, chopped
1/4 c. good-quality olive oil
2-3 tbs. fresh chives, finely minced

1. Carefully supreme your oranges, or alternatively, slice them into thin rounds.

2. Combine the oranges, green olives and red onion in a medium sized bowl and drizzle with the olive oil, mixing to combine.


3. Refrigerate for about 30 minutes. Add chives just before serving.

Undercover Lovers

Here's the thing about most foods -- they are at least 46% tastier when dipped or coated in a sauce. That's a verifiable, scientific fact. Look it up. I'm an expert when it comes to sauces. From tangy-sweet balsamic glazes to blow-your-head off curry sauces to unrepentantly garlicky dips, I love a good dunk.

But sauces shouldn't be limited to the savory realm of foods. In fact, I would like to take it upon myself to help reinvent the sad state of the dessert sauce. I feel like every time I get a dessert in a restaurant it comes with some sad, jarred "caramel" sauce that tastes more like fake vanilla flavor than anything resembling true caramel or a pathetic swatch of raspberry jam that's been reduced with a splash of lemon juice. PUH-LEEZ (insert Liz Lemon eye-roll here).

This whole issue is part of a larger theme in the restaurant industry of laziness and boredom when it comes to the dessert menu, a topic I will touch upon at a later point in time.  But I am here to rectify, in a small part, that hideous trend of jarred pseudo-creativity.

And therefore I bring you a quick and easy dessert that combines a trio of nature's most compatible flavors, perfect for a quick snack or as an indulgent breakfast topping. Easy enough that you could make it right now, healthy enough that you won't feel bad about not sharing, tasty enough that you won't even think it's healthy: frozen banana slices nestled under a dark-chocolate peanut butter sauce.

I know this doesn't push the envelope all too much in terms of sensationally creative thinking but at least everything here is made from scratch. I highly recommend making your own peanut butter if you have a blender or a food processor; it's incredibly easy and, if you can buy nuts in bulk, far cheaper than store-bought.

Make sure you cover the baking sheets with parchment or waxed paper before freezing the banana slices or they will stick to the metal forever. Additionally, feel free to top the banana slices with your choice of add-ons: crushed nuts, shredded coconut, cacao nibs, carob bites -- the choice is wholly yours. Just make sure you freeze them through completely before eating. You can also use milk chocolate if you aren't vegan or skip the peanut butter if it's not your style.

With hot weather right around the corner, these are a fantastic alternative to calorie and preservative-laden ice cream treats. I won't tell Ben and Jerry if you don't tell Häagen and Dazs.

Ingredients:

2-3 ripe (but not mushy) bananas, sliced into 1/2 inch rounds
1/2 c. smooth, unsalted peanut butter
8 oz.  bittersweet chocolate, roughly chopped
3-4 tbs. your choice of toppings (see above)

1. Arrange the banana slices on a large baking sheet covered with waxed or parchment paper.

2. Melt the chocolate over medium-low heat in a double-broiler until completely smooth. Alternatively you can melt it in 30-second intervals in the microwave, but watch it carefully so it doesn't burn.

3. Carefully whisk in the peanut butter until completely incorporated.

4. Using a fork or whatever kitchen implement you find easiest, (kebab skewer? toothpick?) dunk the banana slices into the chocolate mixture and coat evenly. Shake off any extra chocolate sauce.

5. Sprinkle banana slices with your choice of toppings and freeze until solid, about 2 hours.

Now You Sear Me, Now You Don't

Searing food is about as close to magic as the average home cook can get without the use of molecular gastronomy. The ability to make something so perfectly crunchy on the outside and yet still juicy and tender on the inside, is, in my opinion, nothing short of Houdini-esque.

While my knowledge of traditional magic is limited to what I've experienced at Disney World and its College Park counterpoint, R.J. Bentley's Filling Station, my knowledge of kitchen magic is pretty extensive. And the ability to sear a protein well is one of the best tricks I can pull out of my hat.

Searing, in which the outside surface of a food is cooked at high heat until a crunchy, caramelized crust forms, is ridiculously easy and has the added benefit of making your food look much fancier than it actually is. The trick is getting your sautee pan extremely hot so that the outside of the food begins cooking much faster than the inside, resulting in that crunchy, intensely flavorful outside.

For this recipe, I used two gorgeous tuna steaks and crusted the outsides with a cumin-heavy spice mixture before searing them in a little oil. I would have used coconut oil if I had it, but sadly sunflower seed oil had to do. I served the tuna steaks with a traditional mixture of rice and green peas and the result was a totally Caribbean vibe that made me want a piña colada and a hammock. Super yum. Super fast. Super healthy (so you can eat more cookies after dinner, duh).

Some quick tips:

- Avoid a nonstick pan for this. Cast iron or stainless steel are better.

- Use just about tablespoons of canola oil to lightly grease the pan. It has a much higher smoke point than EVOO and won't begin to burn before you put your food in.

- Pat the meat/fish/poultry dry before you put it in the pan. This will help it to sear properly instead of just steaming.

- DON'T FUTZ WITH IT. Seriously, you will be much happier if you leave your dinner alone to do its own thing instead of poking at it every five seconds. Just let it be for a few minutes, flip it and repeat. The meat has to stick to the bottom of the pan to get that coating; it will naturally release when it's ready to be turned.

Ingredients:
2 tbs. crushed cumin seeds or ground cumin
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. cayenne or crushed reds
4 tuna steaks
2 tbs. coconut or canola oil
2 tbs. lime juice
2 tbs. cilantro or parsley, roughly chopped
Lime wedges for serving

1. In a small bowl, combine the cumin, garlic powder, salt and cayenne. Stir well to blend. Sprinkle evenly over the tuna steaks, coating completely. Shake off any extra.

2. Heat oil in a large skillet over high heat. Place tuna in skillet (do it in batches if you can't fit them without crowding) and partially cover.

3. Sear for about 3 minutes, then flip the fish and sprinkle with the lime juice. Continue to cook until lightly browned on the outside and opaque in the center, about 3 more minutes.

4. Transfer tuna to plates and sprinkle with the chopped herbs. Serve immediately.

#Thinspiration

The title of this post, #Thinspiration, is perhaps my least favorite hashtag that exists aside from "#CleanEating" (I washed my apple before I smothered it in homemade dark-chocolate peanut butter spread, does that make it clean eating?). All over Pinterest and Twitter are these horrible posts of women and men with the bodies of Greek gods and goddesses flexing in excellent lighting -- each one captioned "#Thinspiration."

By now you've got to know that I am a huge proponent of healthy eating. Nutrition education and preventing childhood obesity are two of my biggest passions. But hear this: YOU DO NOT NEED TO INSPIRE YOURSELF TO BE THIN. You need to inspire yourself to do everything in your power to live a healthy life. You need to be good to yourself, respect your body and understand that it's okay to eat a cookie more than once a month. If you want to inspire yourself to get in shape, that's FANTASTIC. I'm cheering you on and will continue to do so until you reach and exceed your goals, and even if you don't I still offer you a high five.

But you do not need to be thin.

The only time I approve of #Thinspiration is when it involves a recipe. That faux-Alfredo is a prime example--it's not good to eat tons of butter and cheese and heavy cream. So I gave spaghetti Alfredo some #Thinspiration and a healthy meal evolved.

So too with this recipe: #Thinspiration Shepherd's Pie. Traditional shepherd's pie involves lots of ground lamb and creamy, buttery mashed potatoes. My version goes for lean ground turkey, tons of fresh veggies and cauliflower mashed potatoes. Still totally delicious, so much healthier for you.

The cauliflower mashed potatoes do have a few tablespoons of butter in them, but real butter without any weird chemicals or preservatives is infinitely better for you than creepy margarine substitutes.

Comfort food shouldn't make you feel guilty when you eat it and shepherd's pie is ultimate comfort food. Also it keeps really well in the fridge or freezer, so you can pull it out on a night when cooking a meal seems like an insurmountable task. Feel free to add some chopped up green beans to the veggie mixture; if I could find them in Spain I would have.

Ingredients:
For the mashed potatoes
2-3 russet potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 medium head of cauliflower, broken up into florets
4 tbs. skim milk
3 tbs. butter
2 tbs. Greek yogurt
1 tsp. garlic powder (or to taste)
1/2 tsp. Kosher salt
1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

For the pie filling
1 lb. lean ground turkey
1 medium onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbs. flour
2 tsp. tomato paste
1 c. chicken broth
1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp. fresh rosemary, chopped
1 tsp. fresh thyme, chopped
3-4 large carrots, peeled and diced
1 c. English peas, fresh or frozen
3/4 c. sweet corn kernels, fresh, frozen or canned (rinse before using if canned)
3 tbs. EVOO

1. To make the mashed potatoes, cover the potatoes and cauliflower with water and simmer until very tender, about 15 minutes. Drain well and remove to a large bowl. Add all other ingredients and mash to desired consistency.

2. In a large saute pan, heat the EVOO over medium high heat. Once it shimmers, add the onion and carrot and cook just until they begin to take on color, about 3 or 4 minutes. Add garlic and stir to combine.

3. Add the ground turkey and season to taste with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper. Cook until browned and cooked through, about 3 more minutes. Sprinkle the meat with flour and toss to coat, continuing to cook for another minute.

3. Add the tomato paste, chicken broth, Worcestershire sauce, rosemary and thyme. Stir to combine, bring to a boil and then reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer slowly for about 10 minutes or until sauce is slightly thickened.

4. Add the corn and peas to the mixture and spread evenly into a large baking dish. Top with the cauliflower mashed potatoes and smooth evenly over the top, sealing the edges.



5. Bake at 400F for about 25 minutes or until the potatoes begin to brown. Remove to a cooling rack and let sit about 10 minutes before serving.

 

Rosemary's Baby

I know I just posted yesterday, but I'm sick and I'm bored and I really don't feel like studying for my Spanish certification exam so consider yourselves very lucky.

That being said, because I am sick and cranky and can't hear out of my left ear, this will not be a fun and bubbly post. I'm too grumpy.

Anyway.

Sometimes I get all into making a fancy main course like a whole roasted chicken or shepherd's pie (coming soon to a blog near you) and I end up with zero inspiration for the side dishes.

I'm already worn out from ripping errant tail feathers out of a chicken carcass or attempting to skin fish so the last thing I want to do is whip up a batch of cranberry and almond wild rice or make some homemade mashed potatoes.

Therefore, I bring you these little gems. They're beyond easy and also, happily, beyond delicious: they're rosemary and garlic smashed potatoes. I made these to go along with some baked salmon for Tommy and he's been asking me to make more ever since. I recommend making a large batch because not only do they reheat exceptionally well but they would also be fantastic as part of a breakfast skillet with sausage, eggs and asparagus.

Do yourself a favor and only use fresh rosemary for these. If you try and use dried the flavor won't be the same at all really and they won't be great. Also, don't overcook the taters when you boil them or they'll just fall apart during the baking stage.

Also fun, these are kosher for Passover! I know, that hideous holiday is creeping right up on us. Because my parents are the world's greatest and my mother is Queen of the Care Package, I received a box of Manischewitz goodies including egg matzoh, matzoh ball soup mix and honey cake. I'm going to try to keep K4P but we'll see how that goes. At least I can inflict some minor damage on my intestinal system with the supplies my parents sent me. I'm so loved.

Ingredients:
10 small red potatoes, scrubbed
1/3 c. EVOO
2 tsp. fresh rosemary, chopped
3 medium cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1/4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper.

1. In a large pot, bring water to a boil. Cook the potatoes, completely covered in water, until tender--about 20 to 25 minutes.

2.  Remove the potatoes, cool and drain on a clean dish towel for a few minutes. Preheat the oven to 450 and line a baking sheet with foil or parchment paper.

3. Carefully smash the tops of each of the potatoes with a measuring cup or the palm of your hand (carefully!!!) until each potato is about 1.5" thick.

Drizzle the EVOO evenly over and under all the potatoes and distribute the garlic, rosemary, salt and pepper among them.

4. Bake until crispy and golden brown, about 25 to 30 minutes.

Whitefish Privilege

Go out to eat at any restaurant with a good selection of fish on the menu. Listen to the tables around you ordering, or the waiter detailing the specials list.

A picky diner will want to be assured that the fish they haven't heard of is whitefish. A waiter will make sure to note the chef's whitefish of the night.

Beloved for its mild taste and firm, flaky texture, whitefish is given privilege above most other fish.

Certainly above the lowly sardine (fantastic when cooked fresh) or lesser-known varietals.
Whitefish can hold its own against big players like salmon and tuna but it unceremoniously stomps on all the other fish out there to eat.

This is a story about whitefish. Maybe.

Honestly, I have no idea what I bought from the Mercado. It was just fish, and unfortunately it still had all the bones still in it. Guess who has two thumbs and learned how to (badly) fillet a fish so dinner could get on the table? This girl.


This fish is incredibly easy to cook because it is poached -- simmered slowly in a seasoned bath until it is perfectly cooked from the inside out.

Although according to Willy Wonka, (the one in the book) nothing is truly poached unless it has been stolen from the woods in the dead of night.

I added green onions, ginger, garlic and crushed reds to my poaching liquid but you can feel free to add and subtract in any way you would like. Star anise pods, galangal and thai basil would put a nice Pacific-rim touch on the fish.

I served what was left of the fish with this mountain of bok choy.

You also have a lot of freedom in the type of fish you want to use: snapper, flounder and halibut are a few good choices. Tilapia might be a little too fragile.

A note: make sure that the heat is down really really really really really I cannot stress this enough really really low on the saucepan. You don't want the fish to cook too quickly; there should just be small bubbles around the outside of the pan.

Also you might notice there is no final "after" picture of the meal. That's because I dropped my plate on the ground and it didn't look too pretty after that. (PS: This happened like 2 months ago and I'm still not over it. I'm just thankful something like this never happened when I was waitressing over the summer.)

Ingredients:
8 green onions, chopped
1 1-inch piece ginger, sliced, plus 1 tsp. grated
1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper (or to taste)
4 6-oz. boneless, skinless pieces of fish
2 tbs. canola oil
1/4 tsp. sesame oil
2 tsp. soy sauce
1 tsp. sherry or red wine vinegar
Kosher salt
Fresh cilantro or parsley for serving

Directions:

1. Bring 4 of the green onions, the sliced ginger, 1/4 tsp. of the red pepper, 1 tbs. salt and 3 cups of water to a low simmer (tiny bubbles!!!) in a medium skillet.

2. Season the fish with 1/2 tsp. salt and add to the skillet. Cook until the fish is opaque throughout, 10-12 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, combine the canola and sesame oils, soy sauce, vinegar, grated ginger, remaining green onions and remaining crushed red peppers in a medium bowl. Let marinate for about 5 minutes.

4. Serve the fish on top of steamed jasmine or white rice, sprinkled with the parsley or cilantro leaves and the green onion relish.

I'm Quin(oa) on You

If you know me at all, you know that I'm more than just keen on quinoa. I frickin love that stuff, and I don't know why. Maybe it's the nutty, toasty taste or the slightly crunchy texture. Maybe it's the 45 grams of fiber per serving or the crazy amounts of protein. Maybe it's just because I feel like I did hot yoga for 6 hours after eating just one serving of it (seriously, there's no better way to feel superior than to eat quinoa).

Sadly, Spain has not jumped on the grain train quite yet. Apart from the ubiquitous rice and couscous, (the food so nice they named it twice) it's hard to find any cool grains out here. Luckily, I have a mother who loves me and she sent me a bag of quinoa in a care package. Good thing too, because the last care package had about 4 pounds of Halloween candy in it.

As such, I have been carefully parceling this quinoa out serving by serving, hoping to make it last as long as possible. Then I created this recipe and it all went out the window. This recipe is so good it's a double-edged sword. I call it a power bowl because it has every ingredient you need to power through a long day or re-energize after a workout. Tommy thinks that name is pretentious and it sort of is but what do you expect from a girl who wants her funeral to be held at Whole Foods?

The way I make this recipe is vegan but if you want to add chicken, go for it. A lot of other vegetables would taste good too: snow peas, bean sprouts, edamame, you name it. The sauce itself is also pretty flexible in terms of spice and sweetness. I like a relatively even balance of flavors but it's totally up to you.

To save time I usually stab the sweet potato with a fork a few times and stick it in the microwave for 5 minutes or so. If you do that, this recipe only takes about 20 minutes to put together completely.

Eating this power bowl makes you feel kind of absurdly healthy so feel free to combat that with a dozen or so Oreos. It's what I like to do.

NOTE: I did have more and better pictures of them but this genius lost them somewhere on the depths of her computer. Stay tuned.

Ingredients:
For the Bowl:
1 c. quinoa, cooked according to instructions
1 medium sweet potato, steamed until soft and cubed
2 c. broccoli florets
2 c. raw baby spinach
1 c. firm tofu, drained and cubed
1 tbs. ginger, minced
2 cloves garlic, minced
Kosher salt and pepper to taste
2 tbs. neutral flavored cooking oil

For the Sweet and Spicy Sauce:
1 tbs. Sriracha
1 tsp. honey
1 tbs. sunflower seed oil
1 tbs. sesame seed oil
Juice of 1/4 lemon

1. Heat the oil in a large sautee pan over medium-low heat until it shimmers. Add the garlic and ginger and cook for about a minute, stirring constantly. Add the broccoli, stir, cover and cook for about 3 minutes or until bright green.

2. Meanwhile, season the tofu cubes all over with kosher salt and pepper. Add to the sautee pan with the broccoli and cook, stirring often, until the tofu is golden brown.

3. Add the spinach at the very end and cook just until wilted. Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl with the quinoa and cubed sweet potato.

To make the sauce: combine all ingredients in a small bowl and whisk well to combine. Pour over the power bowl, whisking constantly.

Cold as Rice

I genuinely feel sorry for all of my friends and family in the States right now. I do not envy you the current, fearsome cold snap that FROZE Niagara Falls and dumped so much snow on the Northeast that Mayor Martin Walsh of Boston in a public statement legitimately encouraged people to stop jumping out of their second-story windows into the drifts.

Today in Almería it was so warm that I walked around without a coat on. Tommy currently has about 40 sprouted watercress seedlings on our front terrace. I would not trade with you guys for all the paella in Valencia (although I do envy your central heating in a fearsome way).

It's hard to want to do much more than huddle around a fireplace with a gallon of tea and a heated blanket when the weather is so nasty, but you do have to eat somehow. And since driving conditions across much of the country are incredibly dangerous, it's better to cook at home rather than order in and force some poor delivery kid to fight icy roads or go out to eat and take the risk yourself.

Thusly I present to you a 30-minute meal that will warm you up ("stick to your ribs," my mom would say), cost you very little and utilize probably what you already have in your fridge at home: brown rice primavera.

Primavera means spring in both Spanish and Italian, so while the weather outside might still be frightful, this recipe loaded with bright greens will help distract you for a short while. Typically, primavera is a pasta dish. Subbing the pasta with brown rice, however makes it much healthier and gluten free, if that's your jam (#Gluten4Life). This recipe comes together even quicker if you use a rotisserie chicken but you could also just use any chicken you have on hand; give it a quick sauté with EVOO, salt and pepper and you're good to go. Also feel free to add any other veggies you have lying around that need to be used up. I can see zucchini and carrot ribbons both being very tasty. If you want to get crazy, sub the brown rice for quinoa or another grain. It'll be good no matter what most likely

Ultimately, keep your chins up. The cold weather won't last forever, unless you are unfortunate enough to live somewhere like Saskatchewan. Just remember how miserable you are now when you're complaining about humidity in August. Really, which would you prefer?

Ingredients:
1 c. brown rice, cooked according to directions
2 tbs. EVOO
1/2 c. finely chopped red onion
1 bunch asparagus, woody ends snapped off and chopped into 1.5" spears
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 c. fresh or frozen peas
1 1/2 c. shredded cooked chicken
2 c. chopped baby spinach leaves
Kosher salt and pepper to taste
1/4 c. parmesan cheese to serve

1. Heat olive oil in a large pan over medium heat. Add the garlic and onion and cook until fragrant.

2. Add the asparagus and cook just until bright green and tender, about 5 or 6 minutes. Add peas and continue to cook for another few minutes.

3. Stir in chicken and rice. Add the spinach and stir until it is just wilted, about 3 minutes. Season with salt and pepper and serve immediately with a sprinkle of parmesan.

U-G-L-Y You Ain't Got No Alibi

Not all food is pretty. More specifically, not all GOOD food is pretty. Examples like three-bean chili, almost any form of stew and oysters leap to mind. Tastes good, looks like dog food. Such a pain to photograph.

To quote Jonathan Swift (who was surprisingly sassy): "He was a brave man who first eat an oyster."

But just because dinner is ugly doesn't mean you should hate. Embrace the homely. Encourage it to pluck its eyebrows and dress for its body type. Try and arrange it lovingly on a bed of rice or quinoa. Wait. I'm confused.

This is my best Catholic friend who is giving up everything for Lent. 

In honor of one of my best friends who is giving up all things delicious for Lent, (including meat, eggs, fish, cheese, refined carbs and beer) dinner tonight is a quick red-bean stew. It's super-fast, vegan, malleable and keeps well in the fridge. It's vaguely reminiscent of bean chili but with less of a Tex-Mex flavor profile.

I've served it over rice and quinoa both but feel free to experiment with other grains like farro and freekeh. Make sure to use something with good texture though because otherwise it'll be a big pile of mush. If you're feeling fancy it would also pair well with cornbread.

Feel free to adjust the spice levels to your liking. Sweet corn, jalapeños and shredded chicken are all good additions as well. The original version of this recipe started out with cubed, seasoned chicken as one of the main ingredients but in order to keep it lower-impact Tommy and I have stuck to making it vegan.

Ingredients:

3 or 4 cans red beans (depending on how large a batch you'd like to make)
1 medium white onion, chopped
1 red pepper, chopped
1/2 mild green pepper, chopped
3-4 tomatoes, chopped OR 1 can diced tomatoes in juice
3 tbs. EVOO
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. onion powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. freshly ground pepper
1/4 tsp. very spicy ground red pepper or crushed reds (adjust to taste -- what we've been using packs a powerful punch)
1 c. vegetable stock

1. In a large stock pot, sautee onion, green and red peppers

until the onion is starting to brown and get fragrant. Add the tomatoes and cook for another 2-3 minutes or until the tomatoes begin to break down.

2. Add all seasonings and cook for another minute or two more until flavors combine.

3. Add the beans and cook, stirring occasionally for about 20 minutes or until the beans start to break down. Add the stock and stir to combine. Let simmer for another 5 minutes or so. Serve over rice/quinoa/etc.

NOTE: Tommy likes to mash the beans against the side of the pot to give it a smoother texture. I personally prefer leaving the beans whole but it's up to you.

Mini Me

Unless you live under a rock, you know that Valentine's day is coming up. This Saturday. Boys, that gives you three whole days to scrape together a halfway decent present.

And FYI, if you go to Jared, she's going bye now. Seriously, have some self respect.

And while I'm on the subject, every kiss might begin with "K" but every fight does too. Even if the jewelry from Kay's wasn't fugly, I don't think I could buy it because their advertisements are so damned painful to watch.

But anyway, sometimes you don't have the dinero to buy your S.O. heart-shaped bling or whatever sentimental tchotchke. That's why it's helpful to know how to cook, regardless of your gender.

I know it sounds all repressed and 1950s but ladies, knowing how to cook a nice meal says so much more than "I have my MRS. degree and I am frothing at the mouth to bear your children." It also says: "I took the time to make something nice for you that you can't buy in a store" and "I know what you like to eat besides a spicy chicken sandwich from Chik-Fil-A." It's personal and sweet and that old adage that the way to a boy's heart is through his stomach is TRUE with a bullet. How do you think I've landed all my boyfriends? Not just with my feminine wiles and biting wit. Nothing says settle down and date me like a dozen banana muffins with cinnamon pecan topping.


A nice girl knocks on a boy's front door and waits there. A smart girl goes around back with a freshly-frosted cake and climbs in through a window.

Or you know, does her own thing and doesn't wait around for some dude. Either way.

And boys, being able to cook a few nice things looks very good on your transcript too. Because a sad number of millennial males are total bozos in the kitch, if you can throw together a reasonable plate of chicken and veggies (or really anything besides boxed pasta) you are in like sin. Plus you look cute in an apron.


Therefore I present to you mini frittatas. They are easy as anything, look adorable, and take very little effort. Although I strongly discourage breakfast in bed for a number of reasons (crumbs in the sheets, everything gets cold, hard to get comfortable with a loaded tray on your knees), these are perfect for a late breakfast or brunch. Depending on when you wake up. Ahem.

All you have to do is slice up some fruit, toast some nice crusty bread or shell out for decent pastries and you have a damn fine meal on your hands. It's less stressful than having to cook a whole dinner and they keep well in the fridge too. Can you say breakfast on the go? They're also easily customizable so load them up with anything and everything you can think of. Broccoli, cheddar, peppers, sausages, ham chunks, tomatoes, spinach, feta, green onions -- the frittata is your oyster. Which is an aphrodisiac, by the way.


Ingredients:
(Makes about 16)

8 eggs
1/4 c. skim milk
1/4 c. chopped fresh spinach
1/4 c. cubed feta
1 medium tomato, cubed
1/2 c. red pepper, cubed
1/3 c. onion, diced and divided
1 spicy sausage (andouille, chorizo) link or 2-3 small breakfast sausages
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

1. Grease a muffin tin and preheat the oven to 350.

2. In two separate pans, gently sautée the spinach with half the onion and the red pepper and sausage with the other half until cooked through.

3. In a large bowl, beat the eggs until blended but not too frothy. Add the milk, salt and pepper to taste and whisk again.

4. Divide the egg mixture among the muffin cups, filling each about one-third of the way

Add your fillings of choice, and finish with more egg.

5. Bake for about 20 minutes or until firm in the center. Run a butter knife around the frittata to loosen and serve immediately.

Orzo I'm Told (Alternate Title: A Strongly-Worded Letter to My Immune System)

This is a really bad pun, I know. It's what I call a "Dad pun" -- corny enough your dad could have made it (mine especially...love you Daddyo). But I'm sick with a miserable cold so you know what, let me have my terrible corny puns.

As you can see above, this post could also be titled "A Strongly-Worded Letter to My Immune System." Seriously, I eat so many fruits and vegetables. I bathe myself in hand sanitizer during the school day. I drink tons of water. Why does my immune system hate me? YOU HAD ONE JOB. If I had to guess, it probably has something to do with the fact that the kids at school (who I love, don't get me wrong) are tiny fountains of boogers and germs. That's probably it. Yeah.

When I'm sick, there's only a few things I want: a fuzzy blanket, gallons of apple juice, saltine crackers and soup. Lots and lots of soup. I've eaten soup almost every day this week, some days for both lunch and dinner. Which is cool because this chicken soup with lemon and orzo lends itself well to being eaten for two meals a day.

Orzo is delicious, so I got that going for me.

Sorry this looks dumb; Google Blogger doesn't allow gifs because it's clinging to the Stone Age.

Anyway, this is a fantastic updated comfort-food soup. It takes your basic chicken soup and brightens it with the addition of fresh lemon juice and herbs. Also the orzo is a fun new take on adding noodles to soup. I guarantee you, once you make this it might be hard to go back to plain ol' chicken noodle. 

I personally like my soup very lemony so I add another squeeze of lemon juice just before serving but it's up to you. I also like my soup very brothy so this calls for kind of a lot of stock. If you like a thicker soup that's cool too.

Although I must say, I would do baaaaad things for a vat of matzoh ball soup from Max and Benny's deli in my hometown. So light and fluffy. They must cheat. They've got to be cheating. It's unnatural.

Ingredients:
2 tbs. EVOO, divided
1 lb. chicken breasts (boneless, skinless), cut into 1-inch chunks
3-4 garlic cloves, minced (to taste)
1 onion, diced
3 large carrots, peeled and diced
2 stalks celery, diced
1/2 tsp. fresh thyme, finely minced
8 c. chicken stock
2 bay leaves
1 sprig rosemary
Juice of 1 large lemon
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
2 tbs. chopped fresh parsley leaves

1. Heat 1 tbs. of the EVOO in a large stockpot or a Dutch oven over medium heat. Season chicken with salt and pepper to taste.

Add chicken to the stockpot and cook until golden, about 2-3 minutes; set aside.

2. Add remaining 1 tbs. of oil to the pot. Add garlic, onion, carrots and celery. Cook, stirring frequently until tender, about 3-4 minutes. Stir in thyme until fragrant, about 1 minute.

3. Whisk in chicken stock, bay leaves and 1 cup of water. Bring to a boil. Stir in orzo, rosemary and chicken. Reduce heat and simmer until orzo is tender, about 10 minutes.

Stir in lemon juice and parsley; season with salt and pepper to taste and serve immediately.

This recipe is lightly adapted from DamnDelicious.com

Faux Sho

If you know anything about me, you know that I'm not about the faux unless it's fur. I don't wear knockoff designers and nothing makes my lip curl like fake Armani Code perfume. I'm sorry, but it smells like a baby prostitute. And typically that fake Gucci bag looks just that--fake. I'd much rather have my no-name bag that I paid a reasonable price for and that won't fall apart after three months than a questionable representation of the greatest the fashion world has to offer.

Because let's not kid ourselves, everybody can tell.

Sometimes, however, you just have to go faux. Fur is a notable example because unless you live in Saskatchewan, Russia or the North Pole, it's just not cold enough to warrant wearing a dead animal. Yes, I'm judging your chinchilla coat. I would throw red paint on you too, you heartless wench. My future chinchilla George Costanza and I hate your guts.

Another slightly less politically-charged reason to go faux is if you can't digest spaghetti Alfredo but are having a terrible craving for it.

Wait, what?

Oh yes indeed--faux spaghetti Alfredo is on the menu tonight and it is goddamn delicious with about a third of the calories. Plus spinach!

Since normal Alfredo uses a ton of butter and heavy cream, I can't eat it unless I want to be miserable for anywhere between the next four and 24 hours. This alternative, "faux" spaghetti Alfredo nicely captures the richness of the sauce with its combo of cheeses while not sacrificing too much in the flavor department. It's not an exact replica but I would say it's pretty close. And because it's not so fattening, you can eat more of it! Isn't that how the whole healthy eating thing works?

The recipe is incredibly easy but does involve blending to make the sauce smooth so be prepared for that. Whisking will not cut it.

Feel free to adjust seasonings as you see fit. This recipe would work equally well with fresh garlic as garlic powder (maybe even better) and you can nix the crushed reds for a more traditional flavor. I just put them in everything. You can also use whole grain spaghetti if you hate both yourself and food.

Ingredients:
1/2 lb. spaghetti, cooked al dente
1/4 c. reduced fat cottage cheese
1/2 c. plain nonfat yogurt
3/4 c. milk
1/4 c. fresh parmesan cheese, finely grated plus more for serving
1/2 tsp. each kosher salt, fresh ground pepper, garlic powder
1/4 tsp. crushed reds
2-3 c. raw spinach, rinsed and drained

1. Combine cottage cheese, yogurt, milk and parmesan in a medium pot. Heat over medium heat, whisking constantly until it reaches a simmer. Add spices and whisk again to combine.

2. Remove from heat and blend carefully until very smooth. Return to pot and add cooked spaghetti, mixing to combine over low heat.

3. Add the raw spinach to the pot. Stir and cover for about two minutes, or until spinach is wilted. Serve with extra grated parmesan.