Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Mad Dills

Memorial Day weekend is a fantastic occasion for a number of reasons. Aside from the fact that it is an important time to honor and give thanks to all of our servicewomen and men for risking their lives (and don't you forget it -- beer comes second to this), it also serves as the start of grilling season.

Grillers, light your coals.

MDW is a culinary smorgasbord of crispy charred meats dripping with cheese. There are few things more inherently satisfying than a charbroiled burger with a fat slice of cheddar oozing over the sides. Lord have mercy.

Obviously all the classic grilled meats will come into play this weekend, but we would be loath to ignore the side dish on a weekend like this.

Sadly, hotdogs and hamburgers are the perennial stars and side dishes become congealed mayonnaisey afterthoughts, typically picked up at your neighborhood Jewel-Osco.

Let's change that this year. Let's say yes to cornbread, yes to bright and briny bean salads, yes to properly constructed slaws!

Preach, LL

I typically hate slaws -- more often than not they are overly sweet, drowning in mayo and hopelessly limp even before they've sat under the blazing sun for a few hours. The thing is, a good slaw is an excellent counterpoint to a hunk of grilled meat. Creamy, crunchy and tangy, meet greasy, chewy and juicy. Truly, a match made in heaven and a relationship that has lasted longer than 100% of Bachelor(ette) marriages.

This is a recipe for a beautifully simple and deliriously easy dill slaw. It doesn't have any white sugar or weird ingredients in it, and it'll go even faster if you get a bag of pre-shredded cabbage and carrots. Feel free to adjust the levels of seasoning, but remember that a slaw should be fairly mild so it doesn't overpower the main players.

1 medium head green cabbage, shredded
1 c. shredded carrot
1 c. shredded radicchio (optional -- if added, increase mayo as needed)
3/4 c. mayonnaise
1 tbs. white vinegar
2 tbs. fresh dill, minced
Freshly ground black pepper to taste

1. Combine mayo, vinegar, dill and black pepper in a small bowl. Whisk to combine. Adjust seasoning to taste.

2. In a large bowl, mix together the cabbage and carrots until evenly incorporated. Fold in dill mayo and mix until well coated.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Puff Daddy

In my very educated opinion, no breakfast is complete without an egg. Be they scrambled, poached (in the dead of night, natch), sunny-side up or in an omelette, the egg is king of the breakfast castle.

Americans are all about the egg as part of a balanced breakfast but my Spanish school kids look at me like I'm loca when I say I had an egg on toast before coming to school.

What Spaniards have embraced, by contrast, is egg for every OTHER meal of the day, typically by way of tortilla española: an egg casserole filled with thinly sliced potatoes and, maybe, a little onion. Tortilla by itself is great but as far as I'm concerned, 90% of foods could seriously benefit from some cheese. Also, it's kind of a lot of work to make what with the slicing of the potatoes etc. etc. etc.

Therefore, I present to you a staple of the Suss family brunch, served year-round (except Passover). It's cheesy and full of saturated fat and a little spicy too. Best of all, it takes exactly 5 minutes to put together. Not to mention it refrigerates perfectly and reheats like magic. Serve it for any get-together, make it on a Sunday for easy weekday breakfasts or eat it for dinner with a simple green salad (aren't you classy!). Now without further ado...chili cheese egg puff.


5 eggs
1/4 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 c. cottage cheese
2 c. shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1/4 c. melted butter
1 tsp. crushed reds (or to taste)
1/2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Grease an 8x8 baking dish.

2. In a large bowl, beat eggs well. Stir in the rest of the ingredients and pour into prepared pan.

3. Bake for 35-45 minutes or until top is brown and puffy and a knife inserted into the center comes out clean. Serve immediately.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

A Clam Walks Into a Bar...

...and announces, "I've just won the Powerball! 10.5 million, I can't believe it!"

Everyone crowds around him, offering congratulations and pats on the shell when the bartender suggests he buy a round for the house. The clam looks scandalized and swiftly exits the bar.

"Well," says a nearby mussel. "I guess he was a little shellfish."


Boy am I funny.

I am also a self-proclaimed shellfish addict. Totally hopeless. I know it's treyf but I figure if God really didn't want his chosen people eating it then moules marinières wouldn't taste so good.

One of my favorite ways to eat seafood (besides all the ways) is in pasta. There are very few things that cannot be improved by spaghetti, and seafood is definitely not one of them. This recipe came about as a challenge from Tommy -- now that we're down to our final months in Spain, (holyshitholyshitholyshit) we need to take advantage of all the things we won't be able to enjoy once we're home. One of those things is disgustingly fresh seafood.

Therefore, we descended into the depths of the fish market at the mercado and scooped up a boatload (heh) of clams, mussels and shrimp. Initially I was really intimidated by the prospect of cooking shellfish having never done it before but some Internet research revealed that it really isn't difficult at all.

All you need to know is this: if it doesn't open while you cook, throw it out. If it's already open before you cook it, throw it out. Because our stupid stove is the size of a Barbie kitchenette, I had a lot of difficulty getting the mussels to cook evenly. The burners simply weren't big enough to effectively distribute the heat. Thusly, I had to throw almost half of the mussels away because they just wouldn't open all the way. I am 90% sure they were fine to eat but in this case better safe than sorry is the name of the game.

As far as mussels go, pick ones that don't have any cracks in the shell and that are tightly closed. If a mussel opens after you remove the beard (the little cluster of thread-like fibers at the bottom of the shell), give it a sharp tap on the counter. If it closes right away, it's fine. If not, say bye.

Clams just need to be rinsed and soaked in cold water about 30 minutes before cooking. Otherwise, it's smooth sailing there.

Feel free to adjust the level of heat in the chili oil here. I personally like spice but it is truly up to you. You can also add other seafood like scallops or cockles or even chunks of a sturdy fish such as snapper if you so choose. This is a great recipe to feed a lot of people that looks really fancy but honestly isn't that much work. A sprinkle of fresh parsley and a shave or two of fresh parmesan is all you need to make it look like you graduated from Le Cordon Bleu. I won't tell if you don't.


1 lb. spaghetti or angel hair pasta
1 lb. cherrystone clams
1/2 lb. mussels
1/2 lb. raw shrimp, peeled and deveined (tail on is fine)
1 lb. cherry tomatoes, sliced in half
1/4 c. evoo
1 medium onion, minced
3 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 c. dry white wine
1 c. seafood stock

For the seasoned oil:
1/2 c. very good olive oil
2 tsp. crushed reds or to taste
1/2 tsp. each dried basil, parsley and oregano
2 tsp. sea salt

1. In a medium bowl, mix all the ingredients for the oil together. Set aside.

2. In a large, deep skillet, heat olive oil until it shimmers. Add garlic and onion, cook over moderately high heat until softened, about 5 minutes. Add wine and cook for another 3 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, clean mussels by rinsing them well in cold water, scrubbing off any barnacles or attachments. Remove the beard with a sharp tug. Set aside with the rinsed clams and shrimp.

4. To the skillet, add the stock, cherry tomatoes and 2 tbs. of the oil mixture. Bring to a boil. Add the shrimp, mussels and clams and cook uncovered, stirring occasionally, until the shrimp are tightly curled and the shells are all open, about 5 minutes.

5. While the shellfish is cooking, make the pasta according to the directions on the box. Drain well.

6. Transfer pasta to a large bowl and toss with the seafood, its sauce and 2 to 3 more tablespoons of the hot oil. Serve immediately with fresh parsley, parmesan and the rest of the oil for drizzling.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Orange You Glad...

...I'm not going to finish that horrible joke? The temptation was significant, let me tell you.

Sorry for the brief hiatus but Tommy and I decided to go to Switzerland for a long weekend. Yes, I know, I am living the dream. Also they really do know their chocolate and cheese out there.

Were it not for the fact that it is the most absurdly expensive place I've ever been, I would totally move there. Gorgeous scenery, amazing food and the cleanest bathrooms I've ever seen. Everywhere we went. Seriously. As those close to me can tell you, this is very important to me. In other news, after eating gruyere fondue in Gruyere (heh), The Melting Pot is totally ruined for me.

As fun as the weekend was, it was expensive and pretty darn heavy as far as culinary options go. We did manage to eat a ton of ethnic food however which made me incredibly happy. Thai, Indian and Ethiopian (Tommy's first time!) were all happily consumed. Especially the Ethiopian food. Those people know their way around a lentil, let me tell you.

Therefore, Tommy and I have wanted to keep things pretty light since we got home. Lots of fresh fruits and veggies, not quite as much chocolate (but really still kind of a lot...whatever). This is a whacked-out quasi-fruit salad that makes fantastic use of the wealth of citrus fruits we are blessed with out here, plus the overwhelming supply of olives. It sounds like a strange and even unappetizing combination but trust me, the sweet/sour/salty flavors play together in the nicest possible way.

Additionally, you don't have to cut the oranges into supremes (the fancy way to say peeled wedges) but it makes consumption easier and looks really pretty. Here's a good step-by-step tutorial if you're interested.

It's worth it to use good quality olive oil if you have it for this recipe. A bright, grassy flavor will play best with the citrus. If not, good old extra-virgin will do as well.

This is a great side dish and would pair well with most whitefish and maybe couscous. In fact, that sounds pretty damn good for dinner tonight. This also works best if it sits briefly (30 minutes, give or take) to let the flavors really meld. If you have culinarily adventurous friends, this would make an awesome potluck dish: you will look like a super inventive chef and you don't even have to tell them it only took 15 minutes to put together.

4-5 oranges (mix of navel, blood, etc.), cut into supremes
1/2 c. pitted green olives, roughly chopped
1/2 red onion, chopped
1/4 c. good-quality olive oil
2-3 tbs. fresh chives, finely minced

1. Carefully supreme your oranges, or alternatively, slice them into thin rounds.

2. Combine the oranges, green olives and red onion in a medium sized bowl and drizzle with the olive oil, mixing to combine.

3. Refrigerate for about 30 minutes. Add chives just before serving.